You Are Limitless

You are capable of anything. Anything at all. I believe that with every fibre of my body. 

You are capable of achieving any goal so long as you put in the work. There are no limits aside from the ones you set. Yes, you may have to go an unconventional route to obtain your goal if you have a mental illness that affects the “normal route”. But detours are what make life interesting. 

It’s all about what we want and how much we want it. There is no reason you can’t achieve it. 

Write it out. Write down want you want – physically commit to the thought. A goal that’s not recorded is just a dream. When you write it out, it makes it that much more tangible and you will be that much more likely to invest time towards achieving it.

Everything takes time so be kind and patient with yourself. Dream big and turn those dreams into goals.

Never underestimate what you are capable of, and never tell yourself you can’t do something because the reality is you can. 

When I was first diagnosed with bipolar I thought my life was over and that I’d be limited with what I could do – come on its bipolar…but in actuality my life finally began after my diagnosis, because, come on its just bipolar. I finally got the help I needed and in turn started getting a grip on my life which made achieving my goals realistic. Things I thought I’d never do, I’ve done and there is more yet to come. 

Marriage, babies… all things that I want but terrify me because I’m not sure how my bipolar will affect me. But I’ll face my fears when the time comes because I know its worth it. I believe in me. And respectively I believe in you. Don’t put yourself in a box on a shelf, give yourself some credit and do great things, heck – do simple things. My point is just do things, for yourself and for others.

Be happy and live life in all of its glory.

– Steph

 

Broken Crayons

image

I’ve felt broken. I’ve been broken and I’ve felt worthless because of it. This quote and illustration mean a lot to me, and I hope you’ll find some peace from them as well.

When I was at my worst I felt like I had no use or value to anyone or anything. I was nothing more than a burden. Happiness was beyond my grasp and everything I had envisioned achieving  was long gone. I was chaos. The girl I once was, with all of my dreams and aspirations had broken into pieces, losing all value or potential to be something beautiful…. or so I thought.

This mindset was/is lethal, and I will admit that I’ve fallen victim to it’s condemning thoughts on more than one occasion. I’m telling the truth when I say that my diagnosis has brought me exponential amounts of peace and joy. However, getting to that state has taken a lot of time and effort (and I still have setbacks)

I’d be a lying if I told you that hearing the words “You have Bipolar” didn’t sting; because it did. There was no warm smile and cozy hug for my diagnosis or any of the additional ones I recieved.  I initially felt like I had a big flashing sign over my head saying ” she has a mental illness” … all that came to mind was ill; as in I was sick, I wasn’t whole, I was less than, I was broken goods.

But I am here to tell you that I’m not less than and neither are you! We are more than!

I do exactly the same thing as anyone else who doesn’t have a “mental illness(s)” AND I do it while I have my own personal battle every single day. I succeed because I choose to succeed I chose to put in the extra hours for my appointments, meds, sleep, working out, school, relationships, reading… the list goes on. I choose to do this and I have a mental illness. I’m capable.

I felt broken, l’ve felt defective, but the beauty is that I’m neither. I’m strong, resilient and capable.

When you look at this quote remeber that whether you consider yourself whole, broken or even melted the thing that matters most is that you can still colour. You still can create a beautiful masterpiece with everything that you are. You are so much more than stigma or a label, even when your the culprit feeding yourself those lies.

Sometimes we need to take a step back to recognize how far we’ve come. Take a step back and admire how beautiful our masterpiece really is. Because it’s beautiful. It’s a one of a kind.

-Steph

Your Happiness. Your Center.

image

I am a very passionate person. When I feel, I feel intensely whatever that particular feeling may be. It is to my greatest advantage and also my demise. My psychiatrist made the polite and funny comment that putting aside my bipolar I am very intense compared to most people. Another anology was that I’m like a Ferrari, I can go from 1 to 100… incredibly fast. So my psychologist and I have been customizing my “personal¬† handbook” so that I can navigate my speed better.(emphasis on I)

My mind is simple, yet it’s more complicated then you could ever imagine. When I approach a situation there is a straight forward solution in my mind, and therefore things should go a certain way. Simple right? No, it’s not. As much as I may see a simple route to obtain optimal results I am only in charge of myself. I can only act for myself and other people have their agency to act on their own. They bring in variables that I cannot control. This can be so frustrating! But it’s life. I can choose to accept it or let it dictate my happiness.

By all means, not knowing how everything will turn out brings excitement into our lives. Yet, it can also brings an unrealistic amount of anxiety. It brings a vulnerability that I detest. BUT I am working on accepting, because vulnerability means we are actually living.

Variables can never fully be accounted for. No matter how much you plan. No matter how straight forward the solution may seem to you. Things will go wrong or have hiccups. This leads me into the topic of what is your center?

Going back to the book I read “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. The author Stephen Covey, made a brilliant point about our center. Often we fluctuate when things don’t go our way, we react, we break down, we devalue ourselves, we are filled with sorrow, regret … and so forth. Often these emotions can be prevented or at least the severity of these emotions can be prevented. How? By having the proper center.

How often does our centers revolve around a relationship? We want to make the other person happy so that it makes us happy; they are our world. Or perhaps with our career; we are on top of the world and we are successful we receive promotions, acknowledgment and awards, or maybe we got laid off and now we feel like the biggest loser ever. Perhaps our family is our center, we don’t act without thinking about how our family may judge us, or we don’t try new things because it’s too far from our family. Or maybe it’s friends, we live to be with our friends to have happiness by association, acceptance.

Yes, all of these centers have their notable appeal BUT they are all flawed. They are flawed because they are not grounded they can fluctuate and change. People come, people go, people die, and circumstances are never set in stone. Therefore those centers always cause a discourse within ourselves. The change and dependence causes an uproar of emotion good or bad. We lower our value or we question our capabilities.

So what should we have as our core center? What should we revolve around? Principles. Principles and Values. Honesty, integrity, hard work, empathy, love, kindness and so forth. Principles never change. They are steadfast and are exactly what we need to brace ourselves for the unknowing circumstances of life.

When we react based on emotions that revolve around people, it can be catastrophic BUT if we react to situations based on the values we have a chance to breathe and acknowledge that even though the situation whether it’s a pass or fail we still have value.

I fell victim last week on basing my happiness around the acceptance of a certain individual. I really wanted him to like and accept me, and my happiness was swept away by this outcome. And honestly I haven’t so unhappy with so much anxiety in a long time over another human. The confidence I have about myself and what I offer seemed to be annulled AND for what??! So that another person could dictate my value! I don’t think so! I have value that’s immeasurable, and so do you. And no single human or group of people have the right OR should be given the power (by you) to determine your worth.

I’ve been going over my core. The principles it has and I’ve been feeling more at peace. If this particular individual doesn’t want to be apart of my life, so be it. At least I can tell myself I was true to myself and therefore it’s for the best.

Don’t let your emotions consume you. Do a self check and remind yourself of the principles you are centered on AND don’t allow yourself to be blown all over the place by an thing or anyone. Live fully, love fully BUT recognize that by doing so we step into the unknown BUT we have our moral compass that will never abandon us when we need a change of direction.

– Steph

Learn to Win

image

Being a “loser” is a state of mind. Winning is a state of mind and learning is a state of mind.

That’s a whole lotta mind going on… so let me clarify.

Coming in last, technically means you “lost”… you are the “loserBUT you don’t have to be a loser if you take the time to think “what did I overcome that finishline” Did you fall flat on your face only to keep picking yourself up? Did you face a fear? Did you try something new for the very first time? Did you face it alone?

What did you do? And now what could you do differently? Life is full of experiences, and everything happens for a reason. BUT not in that magestic, whimsical way people like to portray it. Sometimes the reason things happen is purely because we make the wrong choices that yield consequences. For every action there is a reaction …..so deep …

Anywho, we are accountable for our consequences – good or bad. And, every single one of us have the exact same choice –  learn and grow from our consequences (losses); adding perspective and experience to our lives or take the loss as nothing more than failure, and regret that lowers our self-worth.

I used to get caught up in all my flaws all my losses, everything I did wrong. And it wasn’t until I started to change my way of thinking, that I realized my “losses” held value. The errors I made had the potential to make me a better version of myself!… if I let them.

Wallowing in “loss” will not change the fact you lost. What happened – happened. The sooner we accept that fact, the sooner we can learn from it.

When you choose to learn you chose to win. Learning and winning go hand in hand…. perhaps you may not always achieve the technical win but there’s no reason you can’t grow and win in the bigger picture called Life.

– Steph