Shine Bright

Gratefully I have not had to encounter this that much in my life in recent years (I learned to cut people out who demonstrate this type of negative energy). Ultimately this quotes communicates a compliment that I think everyone should understand.

People who attack you as this quote expresses should only reassure you of your infinite potential. What a compliment. The fact they are trying to bring you down already testifies that you are above them. Not in a superior way (because everyone has value) but in way that you you are going places that they can’t follow, because of their self-loathing that manifests itself outwardly as attacking other genuine people.

Rest assured that you have infinite value and potential contrary to what people might say. When people speak ill of you, they want you to feed into their lies. That way you to become dependant on their opinion of you rather than being independent with how you personally view and value yourself. When they do this it gives them the power to bring you up or bring you down – it gives them the power to determine your value and ultimately your happiness or perception of happiness.

If you need someone else to reassure you of your value, you will never truly be happy or in control of your life. Separate yourself from the opinions of others. Stand on your own with a surety that come what may you are priceless with infinite potential.

Potential scares weak people, that’s why abusers try to take it away from you. Potential leaves people behind who don’t meet a certain standard, people who are complacent in life. It’s terrifying to know you are being left behind BUT rather than stepping up to change their own lives they seek to corrupt yours – it’s the easier thing to do. Something that requires less effort and creates a pretence of power in their life.

Never doubt your potential. Never let anyone dictate your value to you.

Take comfort in knowing that abusers attempts to speak ill of you should only reassure you that you are shining bright and they can’t handle the shine.

Shine bright. Stay grounded. Know your worth. And never let anyone bring you down – you are priceless.

– Steph


Decisions, Decisions 

Decisions, decisions. Sometimes I’m a bit impulsive and I don’t make the best ones. Gratefully one decision doesn’t have to spiral into another and another and another. It can by all means BUT it doesn’t have to.

You choose who you want to be. Some choices are easier than others but at the end of the day you have to live with yourself so choose to be someone that you can like *correction love.

And what happens if you make a decision that is contrary to your very nature? Do you roll over and die wallowing in the error of your ways? No. You acknowledge the poor choice and remind yourself that it isn’t who you are nor who you want to become.

Decisions are what make or break us. But there is no reason that you can’t take a different path once you’ve already started on one. Perhaps you are going to have to literally back track or go off terrain forging a new path, struggling along the way. But struggling is better than willfully accepting defeat in life – becoming someone who you can’t face in the mirror.

Impulse comes with the territory of being bipolar, but it’s not an excuse to throw all reason out of the window! Although I’ve definitely been guilty of that… We need to set up safety precautions when we are fully aware; road blocks that will slow us down when we start to slip out of a reality that faces any consequences. Becuase in that particular moment it’s hard to think of the repercussions.

 If you have a weakness that you are more inclined to when you are either really high or really low, acknowledge it and look for ways to hinder it’s immediate progress. If you have to stop along the way it may give you enough time consider the consequences of your actions.

I’m not saying it’s a full proof plan, but it’s definitely something that may help you prevent some oopsies otherwise

If you fall off the horse you get back on. But always acknowledge and own what you did, don’t stuff it in a closet that’s going to burst open on you. You’ll feel much better about yourself if you take back control. And if you acknowledge it, your giving yourself the opportunity to prevent it from happening again.

I made an impulsive decision recently and it wasn’t the best one. But it’s not going to define me or erase all the hard work I’ve been putting in to be the best version of me – unless I let it, and I’m not. I know what led up to me being in a position to make that decision and I’m consciously making a plan that will not put me at risk of repeating history.

Live life and love life. Love yourself and don’t let a few poor choices define who you are. You are so much more. 

– Steph  

It’s a New Dawn

It’s the start of a new school year, but this isn’t just any school year this is my last year! I entered into a 2 year program and I’m actually going to finish it completely! This may not seem like much to most people but I graduated high school in 2009 and I have been all over the maps with my post secondary since 2010 bouncing from one thing to the next because they seemed like a great idea… first it was a fashion designer, then it was a speech pathologist, then it was a teacher, a dental hygienist… HR business personnel and finally I’ve committed and I’m completing a diploma to be a legal assistant. My health was a huge contributing factor for my prolonged post secondary experience but you live and you learn and you meet people along the way. 

I finished last year with a 3.8 GPA. I’m not saying this to boast but to point out that having bipolar with all of it’s ups and downs … switching medication… upping my doses of medication didn’t prevent me from succeeding. If you put your mind to it anything is possible, we are our only limit.

I’m excited and nervous for this year, there is a lot to learn and a lot of work ahead of me. I’m excited for my practicum and to experience working in a law firm (I’m pretty confident I’d like to go for law and become a lawyer … but slow and steady wins the race, I want one stable career under my belt first) 

I’m not going to lie I’m worried about entering the real life adult work force, sure I’m an adult but working summer jobs and having the luxury of calling in sick if I was really feeling like I couldn’t function is very different than a stable 9-5 Monday thru Friday. In the legal field there are deadlines and as the legal assistant to the lawyers I’m expected to meet them otherwise what is my value to the firm. I’ll face that hurdle when I get there. This year is preparatory for that, I’m working with my doctors and I’m trying to better myself and that’s all I can do.

I’m so proud to say I will be graduating this year, it’s been a long time coming. But if it takes you longer than most people, so be it. Never let go of a dream and goal just because you have to work differently than most people to achieve it. 

 I hope everyone has an exciting year and challenges themselves to dream big and work hard to make it happen. 
– Steph 


What If?


I don’t really like living with the question “what if?”

If I can avoid it – I will.
I’m pretty direct when I communicate it can be scary and liberating all at the same time. I wasn’t always as direct as I am now, but an accumulation of what ifs made it clear something had to change. Anddddd I can honestly say I’ve found more piece of mind when it comes to the dealings of my life. Being clear is always the most effective path. (I think)

I don’t always get the answer I want BUT I still get an answer.  And an answer illustrates that I tried. I did all I could do and because of that – I can live with the answer. (Even if a person omits an answer …. silence can be heard loud and clear)

Sure, when the answer is “no” it hurts, it stings and honestly sometimes it makes me cry. That makes me human and that would make you human as well. BUT what I’m slowly starting to realize is “rejection” is merely me avoiding the wrong path. A “no” from a person, a job, a school… means that I’l be finding the right yes that much sooner.

No happens, but eventually we’ll get the yes so keep trying. Don’t live with an overshadowing what if because of fear. Talk, ask & apply yourself; when you’ve done all you can do you’ll thank yourself. Their won’t be any looming uncertainty.

No is an answer, it may not seem like the right one to us in the moment BUT when all the pieces fit together we’ll look back and see our growth and be amazed that we had the strength to move forward and keep trying and for heavens sake that the one particular no could have been a saving grace in our life leading us to greater opportunities.

Live and Learn and avoid the what ifs?

– Steph


Seize the Day!


This quote is blunt, but that’s why I like it. Sometimes bluntness is exactly what we need, whether it be for ourselves or dare I say… directed at others! (Oh yeaahh…I said it)

There are times when I admit the day runs me and when it does, I feel exhausted mentally & physically entrapped in a feeling of defeat. On these days I generally feel like I’m behind on everything and there is no way on earth I’ll ever manage to regain control of my life!! It’s over!! I’m doomed! There’s no hope!! Goodness gracious… how utterly depressing to think like that. BUT at times I do think like that, it’s a reality of my life. (It’s also called distorted thinking)

On days that mirror the above description my secret anitodte for survival is…. breathing. Who knew right??  I breathe and if I’m exceptionally lucky sometimes I manage to successfully remind myself that there is hope, and that day by day I’ll live my life to the best of my ability on that day. It is my life; Stephanie’s. It’s not my Bipolar’s life, or my anxiety’s life or my ocd’s life. It’s mine. So on the days that feel like they are running the show instead if vice versa… I try to remeber they are my days. (Sometimes that’s all the comfort I need)

Attitude plays a huge role in what we accomplish and how we accomplish it. Yes, we may finish a grandeur task but if we do it begrudgingly we will most likely take nothing away from it, aside from a check mark on our To Do List.

By all means checkmarks are great BUT that little check mark doesn’t necessarily signify that we’ve taken charge of our life. Of our day.

We have bad days and for some of us those bad days literally last days or weeks… it’s part of the package deal we took ownership of in this life (regardless to the fact we didn’t ask for it). But eventually  (it may seem like forever) those days pass and we will have good days in their stead. On those days we need to take back our full ability to choose. Choose to run the day. Don’t let it run you. PLEASE, PLEASE do not let the day run you when you have the complete choice and ability at hand.

This isn’t suggesting that on our off days we roll over and die until the off days cease. No, we fight. We are fighters and we do our best to run the off day just as we would any other day. BUT we recognize that if by chance this day or days are getting the best of us we are not failures, we merely need to recuperate so that we can get up and fight again for our days to literally be our days to the best and fullest every other day.

Life is a challange, Life is also an opportunity to grow because of the very nature of its challange. Cease the day, to the best of your ability. Rise to recognize all that you have to offer and all that you have to gain.

– Steph


A Little Bit of Dr. Seuss


I’m not sure if any one could possibly say it better than Dr. Seuss did.

Life is about learning to learn. That’s the fun adventure we get to experience each and every single day. Yes… I’ll admit that line was a bit of an eye roller BUT if we can use our eyes beyond just rolling and take the following advice seriously, I promise you’ll see a difference in your life. (Look at all those play on words. Dang sometimes I impress myself)

Anyways…. reading and learning; it’s all in our approach, that’s what my dad always told me. We can literally take the most boring topic of life and still find some valuable & applicable information.

I used to read a ridiculous amount of fiction, then one day I woke up and decided it wasn’t for me. I started reading only non-fiction. Self improvement. Self help. Financial, Positive thinking … blah blah blah. So I pose the question is non-fiction with all of it’s decorated authors more valuable than reading fiction? NO! Not by a long shot! Although in all honesty that was the mindset I adopted…. don’t ask me why?!

Recently, I’ve read a fictional book about a women’s trials crossing the plains, finding love and losing it. I cried like a baby at one point and time…. this women wasn’t real BUT the feelings evoked from the novel were. The way I could relate to her; it was incredibly real.

Fiction is just as valuable as non-fiction. When people make remarks about my vocabulary (for some reason people they often consider it a little more diverse than the average joes) I can honeslty acredit it to the plethora of fictional books I read growing up… we are talking hundreds of books…. yes hundreds…. I’m a proud self-proclaimed nerd.

Fiction contains a wealth of knowledge for our taking. You can learn about different countries, cultures, rituals, relationships, empathy, vocabulary… the skies the limit and for a while there I was ignorant enough to think it was a waste of time….

Honestly, sometimes escaping into a fictional novel is just what we need. To see something from someone else’s point of view totally eclipsed from our own lives. However, that being said I am still highly in favor of delving into non-fiction. The priceless applicable information found within those books… blows my mind. I love learning and challanging the way I think; gaining more perspective as I go.

Perspective is Priceless.

There’s honestly so much to be read and discovered within the pages of a book. You learn about others but you also learn about yourself.

If you go in with a closed mind you’re not going to get anything aside from a headache. Which nobody wants…
Life is meant to be lived. To be had. And reading provides extra tools that you apply to your personal adventure!

Life is a balance between learning and doing. Both are critical for our growth.

However, really quick I’d like to mention something I read, which was great advice. Never finish reading a book just because you started it! I read a book titled the “Perfectionist Handbook” (I figured that if I acknowledged my perfectionist characteristics I’d be able to manage them better, so they weren’t so crippling) This book pointed out a trait that I was guilty of and maybe you are too.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER finish a book JUST because you started it! Don’t begrudgingly turn pages and painfully read the content just because you need to finish what you started! I was that person and after being called out because of this book I had a nice wake up call.

Remember that time is the most precious commodity we have in life. Yes! There is something to be learned from anything and everything BUT maybe the lesson is that you are not interested in whatever you were trying to read about! Don’t force it just because! Take what you read dissect it and move on. (Just a little spin on the topic for those who have a bit of ocd and perfectionist ticks)

All in all, I implore you to crack open a book. Let the sky be your limitless limit. Learn to Learn, Live and Learn, Love to Live.

– Steph


Find A Little Freedom


Read this quote… alright, read it again… and now read it one more time for good measure.

Now relax, sit back and allow yourself to savor every single word. I really want you to think about what you’ve just read; what this quote actually means. To me it means freedom and it means liberation!

I think and over think to a point where I can literally make myself sick. And more often than not I’m worrying about things I have absolutely no control over (can I get an AMEN! if you know what I’m talking about) So what has been my antidote to fight these turmetulous thoughts? Learning. Learning has seriously been my saving grace in life, and undoubtedly it can be one in yours as well.

Applying ourselves to different scenarios, exposing ourselves to different situations; this is living. This is what life’s about. This is exercise that our minds yearn for, not worrying incessantly.

Yesterday I was determined to be productive; challenging both my mental  and dexterous skill set. So what did I end up doing? I went to a pick n’ pull car yard! I am by no means a mechanic however, I did some research and I knew which parts I wanted to fix up my little beast of a car. (Beast in the sense that it’s a little car that keeps running even though it shouldn’t be.. it’s a 2003 Toyota Echo)

Generally speaking the parts were mostly cosmetic… visors and knobs however there was a side mirror I wanted to change and a hefty piece which involved me taking apart my passage door… the door stopped opening from the inside… due to some hardware mechanical problems involving latches and jazz…. sorry for that poor description.

Anywho, I was up for the challange, and wanted to feel good about passangers being able to escape from my car incase we ever got stuck on a railroad track with a train accelerating towards us… yes a wee bit dramatic BUT you never know!

So I went to the car junk yard, I hunted down old echo and I jumped in getting my hands dirty AND I loved every single minute of it! I honestly felt like I had stepped onto the set of “I ROBOT” or a random “end of the world” type movie where there are scavengers digging around haha… it was so awesome!

After I collected my treasures I went home and got to work. The cosmetic pieces and side mirror were a walk in the park to install (a man at the junk yard helped me get off the mirror, so I knew how to put it on) the side door took some time, patience and detective work.

The self satisfaction I felt from trying something new and learning something new – was priceless. There was no fear, worry or regret as a result of this learning experience. And the focus I had on the task at hand helped keep my useless worrisome thoughts at bay.

I love learning and I never really thought about why. But when I read this quote it really hit home. In a world plagued with worry, fear, and regret… learning remains untouched & untainted. It acts as a refuge that offers our minds rest and growth.

To live a life of learning, is truly living life. Happy adventures everyone. Try something new, remind yourself how truly capable you really are. And embrace the freedom learning truly offers.

** side note: the impressed look on my family’s faces and exclamation “you did this on your own??!” when I showed them my car all fixed up (door locking and opening)… was a pretty sweet bonus!

– Steph

– Steph