Going Up!

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This made me laugh, clearly I’ve been awake for the past 48 hours because people are dreaming of me. Yah, no. Thr reality is I miscalculated how many pills I still had so instead of having one more days worth… I was out completely. So guess who was up all last night???! Me!!! You guessed right, unless your answer was yourself … then you also guessed right if that was the case.

Oh the joys of not sleeping … sometimes it’s scary how awesome it can be. I cleaned my room, studied my spanish, worked on my interior design course, painted my nails, watched entertaining YouTube videos  (I highly recommend searching “Soul Mystique”… your mind will literally be blown!!!) I also picked an outfit for a special event taking place Friday …. that took me like 2 hrs all in its own… and then I drove my dad to the airport at 5 am so that my mom didn’t have to (she thought she was… little did she know I was lurking haha)

And as soon as I got home … I got the shakes haha I needed to sit, my stutter started to manifest itself whilst I tried to talk to my mom. My brain was going at 100miles/minute and yet my body started saying slow down… so I laid on my mom’s bed and we talked of life. I love those type of conversations. After we had our fill we went to go so some errands including grabbing my medication so I can sleep tonight. BUT more importantly we grabbed fresh blueberries & strawberries, I sincerely find joy in such silly things BUT fresh blueberries is definitely on the top of my list! Eventually we made our way home and my sister joined us with her two youngest boys.

So my afternoon was filled with giggles as my 2 year old nephew ran with nutmeg and I chasing the soccer ball & then we blew bubbles till I thought I’d pass out. It was just beautiful.

My youngest sister joined the party and she and I talked. She has one of the purest souls I’ve ever met. She has cared for me in my darkest times and her love has never wavered.

And then work, oh goodness! It was wonderful! The seniors I tend to and serve were as precious as they ever are and made me feel more loved and filled me with more laughter than I could have imagined on such a long day for me. I felt more energized than ever. I also carried a wonderful conversation with one of the women I work with about fitness and healthy body image… I love conversations pertaining to that as well. And to top it off when I went to finish the last of my work one of the gals had already finished it for me just to be sweet!

This post is long BUT I couldn’t help but share the happiness I felt today, on what could have seemed a long tiresome day I felt amazing and alive and filled with love! I hope your day was as wonderful or that it finds you tomorrow!

Go figure I also found another dog on my way home and was able to return him to his owner .

Have a good night by 42hrs is up and meds/sleep is calling me so I can own another jam packed day tomorrow!

– Steph

Don’t Lose With Love

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Love is incredible. Whether your being loved or you love someone. It’s one of the truest purest emotions I’ve ever felt in my life… and I’ve felt a lot of emotions. I love my family, I love my little Nutmeg, I love my friends. And in all honesty I love everyone that may sound like a cliche BUT it’s true, when you look at someone and think of their value, their individual worth and their story…. how could you not love them? (Does this love match the love offered to those closest to me? No, that’s on another level BUT it is possible to still care and sincerely want the best for all people because of love)

I don’t commit to people easily when it comes to friendships or relationships but when I do, I do. I don’t mess around or play mind games, plot or talk behind peoples back. Those are ugly traits and I’ve been exposed to them enough to know THAT I never want to subject someone else to that behavior. THAT is not love. When I love, I love fully because time’s precious and anything can change in a heart beat.

Yesterday I had a panic attack, I am getting better at not having them so frequently… I’m probably down to 1 or 2 per month. And even so they are not always severe BUT yesterday’s was a doozi. I was with my sister at an appointment, it was literally an all day event and at one point I received an unexpected call. Nutmeg was gone. My heart felt like it had been stabbed and I couldn’t breathe. Nutmeg is A. 4lbs B. Adorable C. Not wearing her city dog tag (it’s too big and she always gets her paw stuck in it) and it was just starting to storm, which gave me even more reason to panic (and yes in my head I was like why the heck did she get out outside just as thunder was coming she is terrified of thunder??!). She was out their all alone, anyone could find and take her forever and she hates storms… (Yes, I recognize that was me being pessimistic about people being honest and kind hearted.. which in situations like these I need to work harder at not doing)

One minute I was laughing the next minute I felt like I was dying. Love is so powerful which is why I will reiterate  love fully because you never know what could happen. Gratefully I was called within the hour that Nutmeg had been found… she was hiding and curled up behind my car tire (I honestly had been crying and hyperventilating the whole time… talk about getting a headache) I honestly had been praying in my heart and I do acknowledge Nutmeg being found was a blessing NOT luck. As well I couldn’t believe the kindess that was shown towards me – neighbour’s I didn’t even know were out looking for her, this acted as a reminder that I need to have more faith in the goodness of people.

Unfortunately the reality of life is that we are not always so fortunate as find what is lost. And because of this I imlpore you not take the ones you love for granted or rather don’t take sharing your love with then for granted. I have tried to live in a way that no matter what happens my family and friends know I love them. When I was 15 a hard reality hit me and since that moment I’ve tried to never leave without saying “I love you”, because quite frankly it could be the last time I get to. I’m human I get angry and I storm out because get I need to get air… but in those moments I always try to breathe and put real life into perspective (it’s fragile) this usually results in a grumpy “I love you”… but an “I love you” none the less.

Although I would have died on the inside had Nutmeg not been found, I did have the slightest piece of peace knowing I gave her a kiss on the head before I left, and she knows that she’s loved.

Life is so unpredictable and things happen beyond our control in the blink of an eye. But even so, we have a choice, we can choose to live in a way that the ones we love know without a doubt they are loved at all times, they don’t have to wonder. Make sure you let the people (or pets) in your life know that you love them. Don’t let simple opportunities pass you, only later to be filled with regret or remorse.

Time is not a certainty BUT love is and it’s yours to give, give it wisely, give it fully and give it honestly.

– Steph

Become Stronger, It’s as Easy as 123

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The other day I was having a conversation about compliments. I am a huge fan of offering sincere compliments, I think that they bring out the best in both the person who receives and the person who offers.

Magnifying people strengths, and building them up as opposed to tearing them down…. now that takes true strength and confidence. It’s so easy to get caught up on imperfections… society has made it a mission to point out the most minuet flaws a person could possibly have. It’s condemned aging, and tries to continually sell the concept that “we can’t possibly be happy in the skin we are in… you need to do this or that, buy this or that AND then you can maybe be happy living with yourself.”

Compliment. Defy society’s cruel unyielding attempt to make us weak, feeling less than beautiful because we are flawed. Compliment, and break the concept of us being in a competition with the unknowing person beside us. It’s not a competition, and when you compliment and see the beauty in another person, you yourself become that much more beautiful.

Beauty starts from the inside and manifest itself outwardly. When we see beauty instead of everything that’s “wrong” we start to approach people and life so differently. Be confident enough that you can magnify others, AND be confident enough that you can receive compliments. Before we even hit 3 seconds we generally brush deny a compliment. It’s a fact. So next time someone offers a compliment don’t reply right away… breathe count to 3 and then say thank you. Don’t put  yourself down when someone just lifted you up. There is nothing wrong with saying thank you. It’s not being full of your self. It’s taking pride in your self.

Everyone has weaknesses, and we can all work to improve them without being put down.

Sometimes it’s a challange finding the good in people but the more often you do it, the easier it will become. I guarantee you will find more love in your heart then you ever thought possible.

Take the challange to look for the good, and literally express the good to people.

Happy Monday!
– Steph

Run to the Rainbow! And EAT IT!

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Today was a day unlike any other. I tasted the rainbow AND just like the picture above it did not taste like skittles!

Okay, in all seriousness I did taste an array of colours today – unintentionally. I am proud of myself for finally checking off a box on my “to-do list”! For years I’ve wanted to participate in some sort of fun run (yes… my foot injury was a deterrent), I’d always see pictures of people at fun events and would think “ooooo that looks so fun I should go”… did I ever go? No. BUT this year was going to be different! This year I REFUSED to sit back and watch opportunities of building fun meaningful memories pass me by. I signed up for a 5 km run, with every intention to walk/jog so I could handle my foot injury –  I had compromise, there was absolutely no reason for me not to go just because I wasn’t going to run the whole race.

I had two darling companions come with me, my younger sister V and my cousin D. We were in the 9 o’clock heat, so we had a nice early morning. We arrived wearing white and left looking like a rainbow had thrown up on us… okay maybe that’s  a gross analogy… we looked like we had people throw buckets of paint and coloured powder on us as we ran by them …. wait a minute! That’s exactly what happened! And then we danced to some fun blood pumping music as we ate free food and drank free water… boy! do I love free!

Participating in this race was so fun, and I’m so glad I finally went for something out of the norm. I am really trying to grab life by the reigns and live it by being actively engaged. If I spend money to enter a fun filled day activity, so be it. It’s money well spent in my opinion, AND how often to we waste money on things we can’t even remember?? THESE ARE SOLID MEMORIES PEOPLE!

Try something out of your regular, enjoy the sun, enjoy paint being splattered across your face that you accidently eat because your mouth is open as your smiling haha….

I hope your day was as fun as mine, in all honesty I really needed today. This week has been pretty ruff going and todays event was a nice little shock of happiness. Give yourself a shock, taste the rainbow!

– Steph