Creative Juices 

I have a love for taking old things and turning them into something new. Specifically furniture, and yesterday I hit the jackpot!

Almost two years ago I went to a salvage yard and fell in love with a set of three chairs. Although, it would have been ideal if the set had a fourth chair, its absence did not deter me. I purchased the set and I think I paid all of $3.00. 

Because I moved back in with my parents I obviously didn’t have a need or space for three chairs, but they spoke to me and I couldn’t let them pass me by. My little sister graciously let me store them at her house (my poor parents have an apartment worth of things stored in their garage and shed).

Ever since that purchase I’ve been on the lookout for a suitable table and stool. And my dear friends, yesterday was the day. 

I went to a thrift store with my mom and there was a gorgeous…. correction… soon to be gorgeous… table. It’s honestly perfect! I paid $25.00 for it – what a steal!

After finding this table I was feeling lucky so I asked if we could go to the salvage yard to find the missing stool that would complete my set. Lo, and behold  I found the stool! 

Seriously what a day!

I now have a fantastic kitchen dining table and chairs. And soon enough I’ll move out and put them to good use.

My mom said we could store the table in one of our rooms in the house. She knows how badly I want to be on my own and how perfect this table will be for my apartment. It felt nice knowing she has confidence that I’ll be living on my own sooner than later.

The other week I went to a fabric store and found a beautiful fabric to use on my chairs (and now stool too). Talk about fate.

So everything has come together nicely and over the course of the next couple weeks I’ll be stripping, sanding, staining and, reupholstering my furniture into something new.

I love having a vision and watching it come to life. It’s so rewarding!

When I was younger I always wanted to do interior design. Refinishing furniture is partially how I get my fix. As well as decorating whatever space I’m permitted to.

I’m honestly so happy right now. I haven’t had a big DIY project in a long time. I’ll be taking some before and after photos and posting them on my blog so you can see how it all turns out. If it’s anything like what I’m seeing in my head I’ll be happy with the end result.

– Steph

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Just A Little Bit More 


This is so important!

Believe in yourself and what you are worth and what you are capable of.

You are priceless.

And you can do anything you put your mind to. 

So often we under sell ourselves. 

But we need to believe in ourselves just a little bit more. Love ourselves a little bit more and then we will achieve so much more. 

I have been anxious about finding a job. I’m a new graduate with no experience aside from my practicum, and after I finished my practicum on May 26th I felt overwhelmed looking at all the job postings, because they were all requesting years of experience – which I don’t have. 

I applied anyway, I’m not going to lie and say I had bucket loads of confidence in myself BUT I did believe I had something to offer. 

Lo, and behold I got a call for an interview! I was super happy and excited. I went to the interview and I was super nervous BUT before I opened the door I put a big smile on my face, told myself I could do this and that they would love me and then I walked thru the door.

It’s all about how we talk to ourselves. If you tell yourself you are going to fail, you will fail. If you tell yourself you are going to succeed you will – even if it’s not on the first try.

I thought the interview went well and walked away proud of myself for giving it my all.

I’m happy to announce that this morning I was offered the position! This is my dream job and I couldn’t be more ecstatic! 

Believe in yourself and anything is possible.

Don’t give up hope. Believe in yourself just a little bit more and you will be able to get thru anything.

– Steph

Take a Deep Breath


If ever there is a zombie apocalypse I want to make sure I am not on the city train during rush hour. When you are jam packed like a sardine I feel like the likelihood of survival is decreased. Just food for thought.

It’s Monday, the start of a fresh new week.

I made an error on Friday at work and didn’t have enough time to fix it, so I was panicked for Monday BUT my supervisor told me this morning not to worry about it. And I was able to fix it. Problem solved, I stressed and lost sleep over the entire weekend for nothing.

Isn’t that the case. We stress over something and then when the time comes to face it, it’s not that bad. You’d think I’d learn – dozens of doctor appointments going over my anxiety and yet some how it always manifests itself. Mind you, it’s a lot more subdued. 

Don’t fret, breathe and know that whatever comes you aren’t going to die from it. Coming into work that’s what I kept telling myself. 

Mistakes happen, I’m a student on practicum, I’m learning. And even if I was an employee, mistakes happen. There is no need to kill yourself over them. They will come and go and you will remain. Just take a deep breath, learn from them and all will be well.

– Steph

What Matters Most

There is nothing quite as satisfying as having your dog curl up next to you – in my case my dog often curls up in my arms or by my neck.

There is just something about the love of a dog. 

Nutmeg  (my dog) is 6 years old. It’s been an amazing 6 years and I hope to have many more. Life would not be the same without her. 

She calms me down and has given me purpose. To care for her and in turn care for myself. Having her in my life has been one of my greatest blessings. 

If you have a dog I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. And if you don’t have a dog but are thinking about one I encourage you to take that step BUT only if you are going to commit. Dogs aren’t disposable – when you buy one it should be with a lifetime in mind.

When I bought Nutmeg I knew in my heart she was non-negotiable. When I moved around (which I’ve done a lot) I always picked dog friendly buildings. Even if that meant spending more money. I made a commitment to Nutmeg the day I bought her. She’s a loyal little soul and deserves the same in return. 

Even if you’re not thinking about getting a dog, but another animal instead I encourage you to look into it. I researched for 2 years before I bought Nutmeg. It may not take you that long BUT know what you are getting into. 

Through the good and the bad she’s remained constant. Through all the changes she’s been there, and that my dear friends is priceless. The kind of love a pet (in my case a fur baby) can give you and you can give in return is truly amazing and is one of the simple ways our hearts can remind us that we know what it is to feel.

– Steph

You Are Limitless

You are capable of anything. Anything at all. I believe that with every fibre of my body. 

You are capable of achieving any goal so long as you put in the work. There are no limits aside from the ones you set. Yes, you may have to go an unconventional route to obtain your goal if you have a mental illness that affects the “normal route”. But detours are what make life interesting. 

It’s all about what we want and how much we want it. There is no reason you can’t achieve it. 

Write it out. Write down want you want – physically commit to the thought. A goal that’s not recorded is just a dream. When you write it out, it makes it that much more tangible and you will be that much more likely to invest time towards achieving it.

Everything takes time so be kind and patient with yourself. Dream big and turn those dreams into goals.

Never underestimate what you are capable of, and never tell yourself you can’t do something because the reality is you can. 

When I was first diagnosed with bipolar I thought my life was over and that I’d be limited with what I could do – come on its bipolar…but in actuality my life finally began after my diagnosis, because, come on its just bipolar. I finally got the help I needed and in turn started getting a grip on my life which made achieving my goals realistic. Things I thought I’d never do, I’ve done and there is more yet to come. 

Marriage, babies… all things that I want but terrify me because I’m not sure how my bipolar will affect me. But I’ll face my fears when the time comes because I know its worth it. I believe in me. And respectively I believe in you. Don’t put yourself in a box on a shelf, give yourself some credit and do great things, heck – do simple things. My point is just do things, for yourself and for others.

Be happy and live life in all of its glory.

– Steph

 

A Little Self-love

It’s Friday! 

I made it through the week and I’m feeling good, now it’s time to relax and enjoy the weekend. 

I had a discussion with a friend recently, she was feeling insecure about herself and what she had to offer another person. I did my best to talk some sense into her and hopefully if you are feeling the same way I can talk some sense into you as well.

We all have so much to offer in spite of our flaws. They give us empathy and sympathy for others. They make us human. 

Everyone has flaws,  you aren’t alone in the world – being the only person to have them. And when you meet the right person they will love you in your entirety flaws and all. And likewise you will love them despite their flaws. It’s just how the cookie crumbles. It’s not a double standard. 

The important element of that equation is that you must also love yourself regardless to your flaws. It’s difficult to accept someone else’s love when you don’t even love yourself- you’ll always have that constant nagging feeling of “how could they love me because of xyz” 

But they can love you and that’s all the more reason to love yourself (it’s not the reason you should BUT it helps the cause). Flaws are not the sum of who we are. They aren’t the focal point of our life, they are just a part of it and generally we can work on our flaws to turn them into strengths. We can overcome anything. 

Embrace your flaws for the time that you have them. Ask yourself what you can learn from them and then learn from them and change your perspective. Perspective is such a powerful thing. 

Remember you are flawsome. Don’t let yourself be brought down by the sheer fact that you are human. Show yourself the compassion that you would show others who are “flawed”. Everyone is flawed but those flaws don’t take away from their value and worth – that’s including you too!

– Steph

Today’s The Day

Today is the day.

I start my practicum today. I’ll be working in a law firm downtown. I’ve always wanted to work downtown- it’s just always seemed so glamorous.

I went shopping and updated my closet (which was of course totally necessary), I bought a boss-power-woman purse to fit my day planner, notebook and water bottle in. I have a head jam packed with information from school and I’m hoping it will translate into something useful when I get to work. I’m ready to rock this!

A couple of years ago I would never have dreamed I’d be where I am today – feeling happy. I feel like I’m actually getting a grip on my life. 

It hasn’t been easy BUT all the effort has been worth it. Going to appointments with my psychiatrist and psychologist, my commitment to taking my medication even if it felt like it was infringing on my plan to stay up or go out. Trying to eat right, sleep enough, and exercise. It all adds up.

*side note – has that ever happened to you? The overwhelming feeling of frustration for taking your medication and having to immediately go to bed because you know it makes you tired, groggy and/or nauseous otherwise. Ugh. – end of side note*

I’ve had bad days, bad weeks, but I’ve also had great days and great weeks. It all goes hand-in-hand. The key is to not dwell on the bad days. To let them come and let them go. To not throw away all the progress you’ve made because you are in the depths of despair for a period of time, even if it feels like forever

That’s something I’ve had to talk to my dear doctor about. I was constantly questioning all the progress I made because of how unsettled I’d be during my lows. But they are just lows – I have bipolar – they happen. It’s how I deal with them, how I manage myself while they happen that matters. And frankly some days getting out of bed was the best I could do – heck some days breathing was the best I could do. But I did it! Such simple actions added to my progress, they didn’t take anything away from it.

It can be blinding when you feel nothing but emptiness or sadness. It tricks you into thinking that, that’s all you are capable of feeling; anything else is unattainable. BUT that’s not the truth. You are capable of feeling so much more, life can offer us so much more than pain, misery and sadness. We just need to persevere through the dark days and work for it – yes I said work for it. 

We need to work for our happily ever after. In any fairytale you’ve ever read, the happily ever after never once occured before work was put in. It’s just not how it works. So why would our life’s story be any different?!

It’s so easy to sit back and do nothing. And what happens when we do nothing? NOTHING! NOTHING HAPPENS! 

How morbidly depressing – of course you would feel sad about life and uninspired if nothing ever occurred, if you were left stagnant and unchanging. Thats were self-loathing starts to fester. Without a little bit of effort how do you expect to be happy.

Being happy is an action. So it requires action.

Our life has a purpose. A divine purpose and we have a direction – 

Forward. 

Our direction is forward.

Ups and downs are a part of life – bipolar or not. Healing is a process and we are stronger than we think. We can take one step at a time and we will get our footing eventually. And even when we do we still might stumble and fall BUT we’ll pick ourselves up and keep going. 

Today is a result of me moving forward. I encourage you to look at your life and where you want to be and muster up the courage to take your first step in that direction and once you do don’t stop (maybe rest a little at times BUT don’t stop). You can do this. That’s the majesty of life – anything is possible. 

– Steph