LA


This is just a short post to express how excited and happy I am! My loving father has taken me on a trip with him, let’s just call it The Ultimate Daddy-Daughter-Date. We are in Los Angeles, which is a first for me. It’s a weekend trip but it’s going to be epic! The highlight of our trip will be us watching a live boxing match, Chocolatito vs. Cuadras for a world title (both undefeated). This is an especially special fight because Chocolatito is a boxer from Nicaragua, where my father is from. Boxing is something me and my father share; growing up I was the only daughter that would sit and watch the fights with him – so it’s fair to say it’s our thing.

I’m just so happy to be on this trip. It’s a check off my bucket list “watch a live boxing match with my dad”. He’s calling it an early birthday present. Definitely a present that will make my 25th birthday that much more memorable. 

We’ve watched the weigh-ins (I got the most awkward tan of life!) We’ve gone to Venice Beach, the California ScienCenter AND watched the fight.

And it was incredible! I could barely breathe the whole time from being so nervous. I can only imagine how the actual fighters felt. It was an amazing experience and made me appreciate my heritage that much more. I’ve never been around so many Nicaraguans in my life (there aren’t many in my city in Canada) and it was just a really cool experience.

What an amazing weekend.
– Steph

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Drawing Strength From the Little Heartbeats

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“Mommy? You know…Tia is the strongest girl.”

“Tia” is the Spanish word for Aunt.

This charming little quote belongs to my 4 yr old nephew. My sister sent it to me this morning; additionally she wanted to clarify that my nephew did not pose this as a question rather it was a statement.

This literally melted my heart. My nephews never cease to amaze me with their thoughtful little words. It’s incredible how much they pay attention.

(We attended a Sweet 16 for my cousin this past weekend, again my 4 year old nephew with great concern asked me “Tia why are you not in the princess dress?? You need to be in a princess dress!”… I told him that one day I would be in a white princess dress; that made him very happy)

I have no children of my own, would I love some? YES! But alas, I have no ring on my finger … let alone a man in my life.

Gratefully, I have 7 nephews ranging from 5 years – 3 months. It’s fair to say I get my baby fix. And honestly, as much as I want my own children I know for a fact I’m not ready. I’m not confident enough in my health, by all means I’m pleased with my progress… but having literally just experienced almost 6 weeks of me barely functioning… I don’t think it would be in the best interest for myself or a child if I’m a mom – just yet.

Having a little life growing inside of you is an incredible honor and responsibility.  I want to make sure it’s a happy experience for the both of us. I want to be in more control; it’s funny to think that I even asked myself if being in more control was even possible (this clearly was when I felt invincible… Umm YES!!! IT’S VERY POSSIBLE!

Maybe it’s a wives tale BUT I firmly believe that little darling babies in the womb can feel a mother’s emotions whether they be for better or worse. So I would like to have a firm grip on my emotions.

Frankly, the idea of having babies worries me … I’ve read so many negative articles about women with Bipolar having children or going thru a  pregnancy that was deemed a nightmare… I’d like to think the women who experienced amazing pregnancies were just too busy to post anything … haha yes… we will go with that thought…

Anyways, I’m worried BUT at the same time that worry motivates me. It motivates me to get into the best health possible for myself and my future family. I want to know that when the time comes I will have a healthy pregnancy AND will be prepared to be a healthy mother afterwards.

It won’t be perfect. But nothing in this life is BUT it will be planned and prepared and that brings me comfort. (Yes… I am that girl who reads baby articles, advice about raising children and multiple pinterest boards pertaining to my future babies and kids)

This post kind of went all over the place. But I figured I’d try to record some of my swirling thoughts… it’s been awhile.

One day I will make sure that I am a bipolar mother, or mother-to-be who writes positive and encouraging articles. Happiness is not for a select few, it’s for everyone.

– Steph

Going For A Drive Down Memory Lane

It never ceases to amaze me what the human mind is capable of…

Today ladies and gentlemen I write to you from a different city other than mine own. After I finished work last night I had the pleasure of setting off on a journey to my eldest sister’s house (to see her, her husband and my 2 nephews).

This trip takes roughly 3.5 hrs (perhaps for some “speedsters” a bit shorter… don’t ask me how I know lol)

I’ve driven this particular highway more than I can count, it brings bitter sweet memories and ample time to think about life. Now, is it just me or does driving long distances do that to a person?

Aside from my beloved family living in this particular city my false frog prince  ex-boyfriend also resides in this vicinity. It was a 2 year – long distance relationship and the sad truth about it was, I was the girl who drove to see him almost every other weekend- it was never vice-versa. But hey, you live, you learn, and you put more clicks on your car than you could ever imagine. (There’ll be more on that part of my life later)

The countless trips driven to see my ex created memories by association for this particular highway. So every time I set out on it I feel a twinge of  “here we go again”, memories flood my head the good, the bad and the ugly. I am personally at a stage where I literally have to remind myself of the ugly because the good seem to appear so easily. Sometimes there’s just no going back; and this is one of those times. I drive and I drown out the memories with my car-karaoke singing to songs with more soul than the entire Destiny’s Child (Now that’s some commitment) or even better I channel my inner soul singing queen (in my opinion) Toni Braxton – with the “He Wasn’t Man Enough” anthem ringing loud and clear in my heart.

There are however, some silver linings I can take away from driving this “highway of memories”. I’ve seen some amazing sights such as the majestic northern lights, along with beautifully coloured sun sets and sunrises and captivating storms (not the most fun to drive through BUT boy! do they ever look amazing)

Perhaps memories of my ex will not always surface on this highway (here’s to praying) BUT even if they do, the one thing that always rings true when I drive it now; is that I am stronger than I ever imagined. I chose to respect myself and leave an unhealthy relationship. And I know now that when I venture to this city, I am driving to see those who love and value me; and when I leave I am leaving with better memories than what I came with. And that’s what counts.

I’m looking forward to some mini-adventures over the next few days that I’ll get to take home with me.

Wishing everyone the best on this glorious day.

– Steph