Just A Little Bit More 


This is so important!

Believe in yourself and what you are worth and what you are capable of.

You are priceless.

And you can do anything you put your mind to. 

So often we under sell ourselves. 

But we need to believe in ourselves just a little bit more. Love ourselves a little bit more and then we will achieve so much more. 

I have been anxious about finding a job. I’m a new graduate with no experience aside from my practicum, and after I finished my practicum on May 26th I felt overwhelmed looking at all the job postings, because they were all requesting years of experience – which I don’t have. 

I applied anyway, I’m not going to lie and say I had bucket loads of confidence in myself BUT I did believe I had something to offer. 

Lo, and behold I got a call for an interview! I was super happy and excited. I went to the interview and I was super nervous BUT before I opened the door I put a big smile on my face, told myself I could do this and that they would love me and then I walked thru the door.

It’s all about how we talk to ourselves. If you tell yourself you are going to fail, you will fail. If you tell yourself you are going to succeed you will – even if it’s not on the first try.

I thought the interview went well and walked away proud of myself for giving it my all.

I’m happy to announce that this morning I was offered the position! This is my dream job and I couldn’t be more ecstatic! 

Believe in yourself and anything is possible.

Don’t give up hope. Believe in yourself just a little bit more and you will be able to get thru anything.

– Steph

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Don’t Give Up

Sometimes life seems to be an endless uphill battle. If it’s not one thing it’s another. It’s exhausting. But regardless to this fact – don’t give up. 

If you fall down, get back up. Be relentless in your pursuit to achieve your goals. Do not accept failure -learn from it and keep moving forward. 

No one ever achieved anything by quitting. Sometimes I feel like my progress could be counted in a fraction of a fraction. Eventually – ever so slowly those fractions add up. But only if you keep on putting in the work.

Set goals for you health, spiritually, mentally, and physically. Take control of your health and never surrender to giving up on yourself. Don’t accept less than what you deserve – and you deserve to be happy.

Remind yourself – you deserve to be happy. This life isn’t a condemnation of lost causes.

Even when life appears to be at a stand still. Keep moving. Do what you can and the rest will fall into place. Words that I’m trying to live by. 

Right now I’m trying to escape a stand still in my life. I’m doing my best to keep moving forward. I have a feeling that my up hill battle will be taking place over the next little while, so I may be seemingly moving slowly BUT I have no doubt I’ll come out on top if I keep giving it my all. 

I just spent the entire day yesterday applying for positions in my given field. Being a new graduate is exciting, but applying to jobs that are requesting years of experience is daunting. It feels like a lost cause BUT I will keep at it, someone’s going to bite eventually and I’ll get my big break.

I’ll get a lot of NO’s before I get my YES. But I only need one and if I quit now that will never happen.

We all have to start somewhere. And we all have our own trials.

Just don’t give up. If you want something to happen- make it happen. Heck, cry if you need to BUT keep going. 

I might be a bit of a Negative Nancy right now feeling like my cloud 9 has turned into a tornado regarding different aspects of my life BUT I know it will all work out.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

What happily ever after ever happened without some opposition? Slowly but surely – onward!

– Steph

Training Wheels 

That moment when your training wheels come off is triumphant. 

When I first started seeing my psychologist, the first year I saw him once a week, then the next year it became once every two weeks, and recently it’s extended to once a month. I know it’s a good thing – it shows my progress BUT I really like my doctor. The training wheels are coming off and I don’t know how I feel about it.

It’s bitter sweet not going in for my appointments once every two weeks. I feel really good about my progress, but there has always been something so rewarding about my doctors insight and now I get it once a month, because my own insight is doing a pretty good job – he trained me well.

Doctors are a huge part of the recovery process (and I use the word recovery liberally because it makes you sound sick and I don’t think of myself as sick – I just think of myself as a girl who has bipolar and is learning to manage it). Having a relationship with your doctor is incredibly important. And if you feel uncomfortable, I would encourage you to look for another doctor. How are you supposed to talk about everything and anything if you don’t feel comfortable?! Feeling unable to express yourself defeats the purpose of talking about your mood based disorder (mood = a lot to express) 

I am always hesitant about talking to new doctors, I feel vulnerable and like they are trying to know me based on some scribbled notes on a page BUT all of my doctors at the mood disorder clinic I go to have been amazing and care about me as a person. So if I can have amazing doctors, you can too!

Once there was a psychiatrist who made me uncomfortable so stopped seeing him (this was before my formal diagnosis by the clinic I’m presently in). Mind you I didn’t look for another doctor, which was the wrong move BUT it just goes to show how a relationship is so important to the success of your health. It can make it or break it, because with bipolar you need a support system. Doing it on your own isn’t going to get you far – trust me I know.

Don’t be afraid to look elsewhere. Don’t ditch your current doctor until you have a new one secured. But don’t settle for a doctor who isn’t committed to your success. You aren’t a number, you aren’t a robot. You have feelings and should feel comfortable expressing them. 

I’m not ready to go completely solo from seeing my psychologist but I am grateful I’m at the place I am, even if it means less appointments. 

Progress.

 The training wheels are coming off.

-Steph

Take a Deep Breath


If ever there is a zombie apocalypse I want to make sure I am not on the city train during rush hour. When you are jam packed like a sardine I feel like the likelihood of survival is decreased. Just food for thought.

It’s Monday, the start of a fresh new week.

I made an error on Friday at work and didn’t have enough time to fix it, so I was panicked for Monday BUT my supervisor told me this morning not to worry about it. And I was able to fix it. Problem solved, I stressed and lost sleep over the entire weekend for nothing.

Isn’t that the case. We stress over something and then when the time comes to face it, it’s not that bad. You’d think I’d learn – dozens of doctor appointments going over my anxiety and yet some how it always manifests itself. Mind you, it’s a lot more subdued. 

Don’t fret, breathe and know that whatever comes you aren’t going to die from it. Coming into work that’s what I kept telling myself. 

Mistakes happen, I’m a student on practicum, I’m learning. And even if I was an employee, mistakes happen. There is no need to kill yourself over them. They will come and go and you will remain. Just take a deep breath, learn from them and all will be well.

– Steph

You Are Limitless

You are capable of anything. Anything at all. I believe that with every fibre of my body. 

You are capable of achieving any goal so long as you put in the work. There are no limits aside from the ones you set. Yes, you may have to go an unconventional route to obtain your goal if you have a mental illness that affects the “normal route”. But detours are what make life interesting. 

It’s all about what we want and how much we want it. There is no reason you can’t achieve it. 

Write it out. Write down want you want – physically commit to the thought. A goal that’s not recorded is just a dream. When you write it out, it makes it that much more tangible and you will be that much more likely to invest time towards achieving it.

Everything takes time so be kind and patient with yourself. Dream big and turn those dreams into goals.

Never underestimate what you are capable of, and never tell yourself you can’t do something because the reality is you can. 

When I was first diagnosed with bipolar I thought my life was over and that I’d be limited with what I could do – come on its bipolar…but in actuality my life finally began after my diagnosis, because, come on its just bipolar. I finally got the help I needed and in turn started getting a grip on my life which made achieving my goals realistic. Things I thought I’d never do, I’ve done and there is more yet to come. 

Marriage, babies… all things that I want but terrify me because I’m not sure how my bipolar will affect me. But I’ll face my fears when the time comes because I know its worth it. I believe in me. And respectively I believe in you. Don’t put yourself in a box on a shelf, give yourself some credit and do great things, heck – do simple things. My point is just do things, for yourself and for others.

Be happy and live life in all of its glory.

– Steph

 

Just Try

Trying is the bravest thing we could go.

With so many reasons not to try, finding the courage to go for it deserves a pat on the back.

Just go for it! Think it thru of course (I’m not encouraging any brash behaviour that you might regret) but don’t let doubts dwindle your self-belief and infringe on your ability to go above and beyond. Don’t live with “what ifs”.

Be a bit of a mess and try.

There is nothing wrong with not having it all together when you try.

Trying = Learning = Growth.

Who doesn’t want to grow. Even if we try and don’t get our way, there is always something you can take away. And sometimes we need to try specifically for the reason that we need to see its not for us… again taking the “what ifs” out of the equation.

I’m presently trying at something in my life, I’m trying with everything I’ve got and presently I don’t know if it’s right for me and if I should move on or give it a bit more time (I’m leaning towards giving it a bit more time). It’s fair to say I’m a bit of a mess. But I do feel brave. I feel brave for putting myself out there regardless to the outcome. I feel brave that I started something and I’m going to see it thru to the end.

And like I said, I’m a bit of a mess. There are some days I’m not sure I can make it BUT I keep on trying. I’ll know soon enough whether or not the outcome is in my favor or an extra special learning lesson.

And that’s another important factor. Know when to try and know when you’ve given it your all and there is nothing left to give (which doesn’t equate to quitting). Know when it’s the end. Don’t kill yourself over wanting to achieve a specific result that you lose yourself. Sometimes the answer is NO, and we need to recognize that and accept it. It doesn’t mean we didn’t give it our all, it just means it wasn’t for us. And that’s okay. Sometimes we can try with everything we’ve got but it’s not going to cut it because it’s just not meant for us.

A prime example of that situation is in a relationship. You can try but you can’t be the only one trying – that’s not how a healthy relationship works. You’ll make yourself sick trying to put in the work and effort of two people. That my dear friends is when you can tell yourself you tried BUT it wasn’t for you. Even if you love that person, it doesn’t mean they are the right person for you. Some things require that more than one person try in order to be successful.  And when you’ve put in the work and the other people constantly falls thru – take up your courage and walk away.

Try, but know your limit (it’s all about balance). Give it your all but don’t give in to being taken advantage of.

Try, but don’t make yourself sick over not wanting to be a failure. “Failing” only occurs when we don’t learn something. Learn from your efforts whether or not the answer is yes or no.

Try.

Be a mess.

Be brave.

Learn.

Grow.

And be happy. Don’t live in fear of trying anything, whether that’s the start of something new or ending of something old.

– Steph

A Little Self-love

It’s Friday! 

I made it through the week and I’m feeling good, now it’s time to relax and enjoy the weekend. 

I had a discussion with a friend recently, she was feeling insecure about herself and what she had to offer another person. I did my best to talk some sense into her and hopefully if you are feeling the same way I can talk some sense into you as well.

We all have so much to offer in spite of our flaws. They give us empathy and sympathy for others. They make us human. 

Everyone has flaws,  you aren’t alone in the world – being the only person to have them. And when you meet the right person they will love you in your entirety flaws and all. And likewise you will love them despite their flaws. It’s just how the cookie crumbles. It’s not a double standard. 

The important element of that equation is that you must also love yourself regardless to your flaws. It’s difficult to accept someone else’s love when you don’t even love yourself- you’ll always have that constant nagging feeling of “how could they love me because of xyz” 

But they can love you and that’s all the more reason to love yourself (it’s not the reason you should BUT it helps the cause). Flaws are not the sum of who we are. They aren’t the focal point of our life, they are just a part of it and generally we can work on our flaws to turn them into strengths. We can overcome anything. 

Embrace your flaws for the time that you have them. Ask yourself what you can learn from them and then learn from them and change your perspective. Perspective is such a powerful thing. 

Remember you are flawsome. Don’t let yourself be brought down by the sheer fact that you are human. Show yourself the compassion that you would show others who are “flawed”. Everyone is flawed but those flaws don’t take away from their value and worth – that’s including you too!

– Steph