Decisions, Decisions 

Decisions, decisions. Sometimes I’m a bit impulsive and I don’t make the best ones. Gratefully one decision doesn’t have to spiral into another and another and another. It can by all means BUT it doesn’t have to.

You choose who you want to be. Some choices are easier than others but at the end of the day you have to live with yourself so choose to be someone that you can like *correction love.

And what happens if you make a decision that is contrary to your very nature? Do you roll over and die wallowing in the error of your ways? No. You acknowledge the poor choice and remind yourself that it isn’t who you are nor who you want to become.

Decisions are what make or break us. But there is no reason that you can’t take a different path once you’ve already started on one. Perhaps you are going to have to literally back track or go off terrain forging a new path, struggling along the way. But struggling is better than willfully accepting defeat in life – becoming someone who you can’t face in the mirror.

Impulse comes with the territory of being bipolar, but it’s not an excuse to throw all reason out of the window! Although I’ve definitely been guilty of that… We need to set up safety precautions when we are fully aware; road blocks that will slow us down when we start to slip out of a reality that faces any consequences. Becuase in that particular moment it’s hard to think of the repercussions.

 If you have a weakness that you are more inclined to when you are either really high or really low, acknowledge it and look for ways to hinder it’s immediate progress. If you have to stop along the way it may give you enough time consider the consequences of your actions.

I’m not saying it’s a full proof plan, but it’s definitely something that may help you prevent some oopsies otherwise

If you fall off the horse you get back on. But always acknowledge and own what you did, don’t stuff it in a closet that’s going to burst open on you. You’ll feel much better about yourself if you take back control. And if you acknowledge it, your giving yourself the opportunity to prevent it from happening again.

I made an impulsive decision recently and it wasn’t the best one. But it’s not going to define me or erase all the hard work I’ve been putting in to be the best version of me – unless I let it, and I’m not. I know what led up to me being in a position to make that decision and I’m consciously making a plan that will not put me at risk of repeating history.

Live life and love life. Love yourself and don’t let a few poor choices define who you are. You are so much more. 

– Steph  

Surprise Yourself

Sometimes you need to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. Reminding your self how capable you really are.

I applied for the posting on of Vice president for my schools club. And to my surprise I was voted in. So I am officially  the Vice President of the Legal Assistant Society. I’m excited to fulfill the role, to work with my peers hopefully make some friendships along the way. 

I wasn’t sure if I was even going to apply but I bit the bullet and told myself I could do it. I was qualified and the only thing standing in my way was me. 

Take a step out of your ordinary. Make a change to be the change in your life that you’re looking for.

I wanted more depth in my life; to be more engaged and I think this is a step in the right direction.

– Steph 

Sparkle Baby

Why don’t those weekly pill boxes come bedazzled??! Quick! Someone take that idea and run with it, I guarantee you’ll make a fortune. Seriously who doesn’t like some sparkle? 

Until that day comes I’ll be using my plain pill box … well …mine is pink so that’s not completely plain… and i do love pink. Honestly though, pre counting my pills has changed my life *dramatic pause* alright it hasn’t really BUT it’s so convenient, I highly recommend doing it.

Moving on … 

This summer hasn’t exactly gone according to plan. I thought I was going to be a blogging diva and write a bunch of witty uplifting posts… yah. That hasn’t happened. I honestly just haven’t felt inspired… these past few months and when I say few … I mean like 6 months …lifes mojo has been challenging. 

Getting the weight off that I gained from taking seroquel has been a struggle… I’ve felt like I have been beating my head against a wall. I’ve gone 4 weeks sugar free, gluten free and starch free (don’t ask me how I’ve survived I still don’t know)… I haven’t gained weight but I haven’t noticed a difference. Mind you in those 4 weeks I took a break from the gym…YES I was going before my 4 week break, it’s just I’ve just been so disheartened by putting in all those hours sweating and i have literally nothing to show for it. 

Tomorrow I will be going to the the gym. That is my word and I’ll make good on it in my next post. 

I have a trip planned for either winter break or at the end of the school year in April and I want nothing more than to feel confident in a swim suit and confident when I have my photo taken. This is going to be the trip of my dreams, I’m going to my father’s home country of Nicaragua. I’ve always wanted go and it’s finally happening. I need to:

1. Look sexy to attract all the handsome latin men.

2.Practice my spanish so I can speak to all the handsome latin men 

3.Practice my dancing so that I can dance with the handsome latin men.

You can see I’m excited to see the country … jokes aside I’m excited to see where my dad grew up and the handsome latin men are a bonus. 

Back to the topic of weight… this summer my cousin got married and I was asked to be a bridesmaid… honestly I almost told her no because I felt so self conscious about being in photos. But I pushed past my discomfort to share a special day with her. 

I’ve been so unhappy with my weight and it’s shown in my confidence which isnt sexy. I honestly don’t feel like me when I look at me. It’s been a challenge, but I accept the challenge because I’m going to defeat it. I may cry a lot in the process but I will be triumphant.

Hopefully with the gym involved again and eating without sugar, gluten and starch I’ll see the weight melt off. If not … I honestly don’t know what I’ll do BUT I’ll worry about that later if it comes to that.

I know that I’ve come too far with my health to give up now. I want to be both mentally healthy and physically healthy. And I will have both. I’m turning 25 this year and this will be my year with no strings attached. 

I’m hoping to keep my posts more consistent I’ll most likely try to track my weightloss journey as it happens and who knows maybe we can do it together. 

– Steph 

Flashback Fitness Friday

Alrighty,
Did you catch that alliteration in the title??! Can I get an air-high five? … yes. I am a nerd lol

Onward!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am a HUGE fan of fitness, remember the key word fan. I have not completely mastered the consistency/balance I’m working towards within my weekly routine and I am by no means a fitness expert. I honestly just love learning, challenging, applying and expanding what knowledge I do have. (I also enjoy helping those around me find fun in fitness)

In this post I’ll let you in on some of my fitness history …. now how did you get so lucky?!(in advance pardon m’babble)

Once upon a time ago when I was in my younger years (grade 8) I began playing sports. I played badminton, volleyball, basketball and I did 100m and discus for track. Oops… slight lie I did soccer for one glorious year in grade 7 (I won most improved player… that award still makes me laugh)

I adored playing sports and continued playing right into high school, although I cut volleyball and focused on my true love; basketball. Basketball and I began late in life, I was in grade 9 the first time I played (I had the honor of being captain of the team… we could say I had a bit of a knack for it once I tried it. I went on to play at an all-star game hosted for the entire city… and after that went on to try-out for a placement on my future High Schools Senior’s team roster so I could attend a tournament in Hawaii with them. I was blessed, and I made the cut. I was the only Jr. that got to go with the senior team – talk about a learning curb as it was only my 2nd year playing this magical sport!

Anywho after grade 10 my family moved to a new town. I played the sports I listed above (badminton I was blessed to go to provincials) BUT basketball! I tried out and was offered either a bench warming position on the Senior’s team OR co-captain of the Jr. team… I wonder which position I picked?? Co-Captain! and it was awesome, we dominated in our division … glorious memories. I honestly thought I’d go on to play basketball my senior year, then get scouted out for post secondary. I had a plan, a fool-proof pla—– FAIL!

I injured myself (or rather had an accumulation of injuries) and because I chose to ignore the pain and play without resting throughout my seasons, I did a real dooozzyyyy.

Grade 12. I couldn’t even walk on my left foot. It was perma-swollen. I had bruised and sprained a metatarsal in my foot … (apparently that’s a pretty rare talent) later it was also discovered I had collapsed my arches… my ankle was mangled meat it cracked, crunched and flip-flopped like a loosey-goosey. Later on, an MRI would allow doctors to discover that I’d sprained and twisted this particular ankle …. more than they could tell, fancy that! The MRI showcased more scarring than they could decipher!  ANYWHO, my sport life – ENDED.

I had to tape my ankle and arch everyday, wear an ankle brace for the first year. no walks. no activity. Lots of physio. I thought I’d be fixed and running. NOPE. The next year, acupuncture, massage, more physio, no activity, orthotics. NOPE. Next year, cortisone shots, more custom orthotics, physio, air-cast for months. oh yah and  they discovered I also had/have plantar fasciitis. So did I get to bounce back into activity? NOPE…

From 2008-2013 I did not get to enjoy activities as simple as walking without a knife being ripped through my foot that would then morph into the “Michelin Man”. My life plans had changed.

WHEN I finally had the chance to embrace any form of fitness into my life again, it was called weight lifting…. something I had never been a fan of before, I’M A FAN NOW! its a stationary sport so to speak…of course there is movement such as squats and lunges, even using the leg press (which I can now do without any hint of pain) I LOVE LIFTING. it honestly saved me. I finally had the chance to push my physical limits and have activity back in my life.

So from 2014 to our current 2015 I have had consistent activity with no “real” pain (I still can’t jog/run.. it’s lame but hey you can’t have everything (I can use the elliptical and bikes… do I? is the real question))

SO that is my fitness/injury history, I am still trying to figure out my feet so I can run … we’ll see when/if that happens (foot injuries have no concept of time)

I’ll end my post here… its a tad bit long (I warned you)

BUT I will finish my train of thought tomorrow… I want to clarify where I now stand with my health and fitness; flaws and all and I also want to let you in on my plans for the future (blog-n’all) Ooo la la

– Steph