Bipolar Gains – Let’s Get It

Alright, so here we are January 2020 and I am ready to go!

My weight has been one of the most ginormous Goliaths in my life. I have always struggled accepting the number on the scale and when I started a certain medication with my diagnosis of bipolar, that weight skyrocketed.

Understandably, when the weight went way up, my confidence went way down. I struggled to find self-love while weighing my heaviest and ultimately told my doctors that the medication needed to change or I’d stop taking it. Drastic, I know, but I was turning into someone I didn’t recognize emotionally and physically.

At my highest I weighed 198 lbs, which was more than I had ever imagined I would weigh in my lifetime. To allow you to more accurately gauge that weight I will tell you my height is 5 ft 4 and 3/4 inches. So it is fair to say that weight was more than just a little on my short frame.

I will be clear when I say I am curvy (I believe this trait stems from my Latin heritage) I am not petite and I have an athletic build. I have never been a size 0. This fact originally gave me a lot of grief growing up, as I classified myself as chubby and overweight because I wasn’t 115 lbs when in actuality I was at a perfectly healthy weight and looked healthy and lean at 150-160.

You read that right, 150-160 lbs is a golden weight for me at my height. So let’s get to the fun part of this post.

Bipolar Gains is a new chapter on my blog bringing accountability and honesty with regards to my journey to physical wellness. So far there have been a lot of highs and lows coupled with inconsistency. However, I want to emphasize the importance of maintaining an active lifestyle with Biplor. (I think the inconsistency that comes as a results of highs and lows is my biggest struggle)

Mental health is drastically impacted by physical health. Having some form of physical activity in your life is a foundational block to build a healthy mind. Every time I saw my psychiatrist (the one who cared) she would ask me about my physical activity and always emphasized the importance and the significant impact being active had on my health.

When I weighed 198lbs I had given up on the gym and felt terrible about myself. I lost myself to be honest. I had been an avid gym goer, however when the medication I was taking was making me gain weight despite my efforts I stopped. DON’T do what I did – DON’T stop going to the gym if you aren’t seeing results. YES, maybe talk to your doctors about changing medications BUT don’t stop being active and don’t stop your medication because of the weight. Easier said then done.

My medication change was exactly what I needed to get back under control. The change was what worked for me and just so you know, I switched my mood stabilizer from Quetiapine to Latuda (just for the know how).

Anyways, I’m trying to stay on topic. This chapter of my blog – Bipolar Gains, I’m sure you’ve heard weightlifters refer to their “gains”. I want to tie that in with bipolar. This journey has been and will continue to go up and down and all the while I hope to gain better control over my health – body and mind. My moods impact my desire to workout and sometimes being consistent is challenging, however that is why I created this chapter of my blog. Accountability my friends!

I plan on documenting my weightloss journey, giving you updates on how many times I worked out in the week, what I did and what my stats are. Believe me it’s not about the number on the scale, but for me it’s a good indication that I am on track. To kick off this series I will give you my stats as follows:

Heaviest Weight: 198lbs

Goal Weight: 155lbs

Monday, January 6th

Current Weight: 172.2

Measurements

Bust: 40″

Waist: 32″

Hips: 42.5″

Bonus Measurements:

Neck: 14″ (my husband says he notices my neck when I lose weight, so I’m curious if this measurement will change throughout my journey)

Biceps: 12″

Thighs: 24.5″

I want this to be real and raw so brace yourself for some photos, I find that a way to motivate myself is photos. Sometimes the number you see on the scale says something totally different than the photo you may see. These photos were taken on January 1, 2020 (a kick off to the new year)

I want to put this out there because I don’t want to back out. I want to share this journey with you so I can be accountable to myself and you while working towards my goals.

There are a few reasons why losing this weight is important to me. Ultimately, it’s for my health, I want to enjoy this life to it’s fullest. I want to be confident. I don’t want to look back with regret. I want to make a change and 2020 is the year. No more excuses, I may go up and I may go down BUT I will be as sure as heck be going forward.

If you want to join me on this journey I would be honored. If you would like to share your fitness and wellness journey with me, I would love that as well.

2020, a new year, a new decade, a new opportunity to grow into the person you want to be. Let’s flex these muscles and get some bipolar gains, bro.

I hope that this new chapter will be insightful and encouraging for you to begin or continue towards your own bipolar gains. Let’s get it!

– Steph

It’s a New Chapter

I love New Years, it’s such an exciting time of year as we prepare to begin another journey filled with new chapters of life and opportunities.

2019 has been an incredible year, I am so grateful for all that I’ve experienced as it has allowed me to grow and be that much more of the person I want to be.

Life is a journey as I’m sure you’ve heard countless times before. Life is lesson upon lesson – everything we do or don’t do is for our betterment if we allow it to be. It can be exciting and a giant relief if you look at life this way; you don’t have to have it all figured out all the time. You can take it day by day, hour by hour; learning and living as you go.

I don’t have my life figured out, but throughout the life I have lived thus far I’ve been refined and I do know who I don’t want to be and if you know that much, it leaves you with a more direct path to walk and develop into the person you do want to be.

I will probably be developing into the person I want to be my entire life, that doesn’t mean I’m a failure, it means I’m constantly growing and changing which I believe this life is all about. If we arent changing, we are stagnant and that gets us nowhere – literally.

I have some serious goals for 2020, mostly pertaining to my health – mentally of course BUT some serious goals about my physical health which you will be introduced to on an upcoming post next Monday, so be prepared to look out for it. I don’t want to seem like a cliche with this particular new years resolution, it just works out that it’s new years and I’ve moved and settled and am ready to start tackling this goal.

There is never a wrong time to start working on your health, if you want to make it this new years resolution don’t feel silly for it. Health is always a noble resolution, and new years is a time of reflection to develop or refocus on those goals.

Apart from my mental health, physical health, and my goal to be more intentional from my birthday I want to develop some new characteristics this year and ditch some old ones. A few for example are as follows:

Ditch:
1. Talking negatively about people, even when I’m beyond irritated (I need to learn to curb my tongue when it literally does not benefit anyone)
2. My controlling nature, if things arent done a certain way I can get pretty distraught and short with people (everyone has a right to do things their way, just because it’s not my way doesn’t make it wrong)
3. Lack of comittment to goals that I set (I can easily get distracted and start a new goal mid completing a former goal and then not complete or take a million times longer to complete a goal)

Develop:
1. Hunger for knowledge (I feel like I’ve been coasting with respects to my development, I’m not in school anymore and there has been a lack of formal reading and learning)
2. Flexibility. I need to develop more flexibility with how things are done (going back to if they are done differently than I would have done them)
3. Cooking more. I want to be a pro in the kitchen so my husband and I can eat a more diverse menu that is healthy and budget friendly (let’s just say I’m not interested in only eating chicken and veggies this year)

Those are just some of my resolutions that I was able to think about as I thought about what changes I want to see in 2020. I am excited for the positive changes ahead. A goal not written down is only a dream. I encourage you to write your resolutions and goals down for 2020, and write them in a place you will be able to see them throughout the year.

Here we are. A brand new year awaits us, let’s make the most of it and grow a little more into the person we want to be over the course of the next 366 days (it’s a leap year I’m told)

Happy New Years.

– Steph