I don’t generally post two Bipolar Gains posts a week, however I’ve had a change of heart and wanted to share because my last post was pretty negative AND that does not embody the journey of self-love that I’m on as I try to be the HEALTHIEST VERSION OF MYSELF (key word – HEALTHIEST). Sometimes it’s so easy to get hyper-focused on one detail and it takes away from the whole experience.
I am no longer going to weigh myself – atleast not once a week. Maybe once a month or every 6 weeks, I’ll find a balance. I will take progress photos at the beginning of each month and measure BUT that blasted number is NOT going to ruin my happy vibe. I have seriously been getting so caught up with the fact my weight has stayed the same with all the effort I’ve been putting in that I have lost sight of how good I actually do feel in my skin. How confident I am wearing my outfits.
Maybe 155 lbs is not in my deck of cards BUT maybe being a size 9 is – even if I do weigh 170 lbs. The point is WHO CARES! I sure as heck need to stop caring about what I weigh. When I started this segment on my blog, I specifically said I didn’t want to focus on the number and with weight watchers that is a MAJOR CON because I weigh in every week with huge expectations on myself to see a lower number. IT IS NOT ABOUT THE NUMBER! I need to emphasize that for you and me!
From my highest weight I am down around 28 lbs – great. But how I see myself is so much more important than the figure I see on the scale. It’s an accomplishment, I don’t want to take away from that BUT I do want to remind myself that I am so much more than a number and even at my biggest I deserved to love myself and even now where I’m at, how I look, whether it is my ideal physique or NOT – I deserve to love myself.
Enjoy the journey, don’t get deterred because the “number”, is not what you envision for yourself. Trust the process, trust your body to change positively as you change your active lifestyle positively AND love and respect your body along the way. You can’t hate yourself into sustainable enjoyable change. That’s something I needed to hear again.
To say I’m frustrated is an understatement. I weighed in at 171.4 lbs, which means I’ve gone up in weight – but who cares. Honestly, I am fluctuating between 169 and 172 and I over it (but not actually). I know I said it wasn’t about the number BUT when I’m working out and eating clean for 85/15 then why the heck aren’t I seeing the number drop.
Sure, clothes are fitting better BUT I feel like I look EXACTLY the same as at the beginning of February end of January… and it’s really no surprise considering my stats haven’t changed. I am not even close to where I want to be at the end of my journey and yet my body is rejecting the change I’m trying to create.
If I’ve ever felt like saying “whatever” and throwing the towel in – this is it. I’m just so FRUSTRATED.
How can 170 be my comfortable natural weight? It’s obviously not BUT I can’t get lower, what will it take? Starvation? Not that I’d go there as tempting as it might be.
It is what it is. I’ll keep going to the gym, I’ll keep eating clean. And I’ll just be grateful my clothes fit and look good.
As for stats, aside from my weight I dont have anything, I threw the measuring tape once I saw that my first measure was the same as last week. I know, I know …. I was what we would call having a tantrum BUT I am not even ashamed; just frustrated.
Okay, it is the beginning of March and I should have progress photos to share. Sorry to disappoint but I never had time to get them done. However, I can assure you I look the exact same as February.
My stats are as follows:
Heaviest Weight: 198lbs Goal Weight: 155lbs
Jan 1/2020 Weight: 172.2 lbs Feb 1/2020 Weight: 169.6 lbs Current Weight: 170.6 lbs
Jan 1/2020 Bust: 40″ Feb 1/2020 Bust: 40″ Current Bust: 39″
Jan 1/2020 Waist: 32″ Feb 1/2020 Waist: 31″ Current Waist: 31″
Jan 1/2020 Hips: 42.5″ Feb 1/2020 Hips: 42″ Current Hips: 41.5″
So as you can see I’m up a pound, this is most annoying. I have not been able to break away from 169-172 for the past 4 weeks at minimum. I think I need to be laser focused on my nutrition for the month of March. The last few weeks I’ve been off the wagon a bit. Inconsistent gym time based on injury and holidays. The recipe for stagnant weight and inches lost.
I’m going to keep trying though, move forward in March and see what I can do. Unfortunately, my gym routine with my sister is seemingly coming to an end. It is just not working with my new work schedule. We can’t coordinate a time that works for me and my sleep and her having someone to watch her kids so we can go earlier.
This week I’ll be attempting working out during my lunch break at work. We have access to a beautiful gym for free, so I want to take advantage of it. I will be doing cardio in the evenings on Mon, Wed and Fri for 20-30 minutes and my sister and I will keep going to aquafit on Thurs.
I am hoping to get back in the swing of things and hopefully break into the 165 zone. I know it’s possible. It is just going to require a bit of extra work and attention to detail.
Happy workouts everyone. When you hit a wall dont stop, climb over or walk around BUT keep going. I know it will be worth it when I see how far I’ve come at the 9 month mark of my journey.
So life throws curve balls sometimes or if we want to be a bit more dramatic we can say wrenches. My shoulder(s), primarily my right shoulder have been acting up like CRAZY! It hurt to sleep, to hold things in my hands, to grip things in general. It was blatantly painful with no beating around the bush.
That being said, life happened as well, I went away for the long weekend and as a result of the above noted, my gym routine suffered.
Pain is no joke. I’ve learned the hard way that you do not push through pain. There is a difference between pain and discomfort from soreness or exertion. Push through those BUT not pain, otherwise you could do more damage.
I’ve rested essentially with minimum use of weights the past two weeks. If I lifted it was between 5-10 lbs which is a far cry from what I usually lift. But you do what you gotta do.
I’m hoping and looking forward to going back consistently with serious workouts… I just hope and pray my body obliges.
Heaviest Weight: 198lbs Goal Weight: 155 Current Weight: 169.6
Bust: 39.5″ Waist: 30.5″ Hips: 41.5″
Shockingly I’m down in the stats department – I’ll take it!
Some bumps in the road lately, but my eyes are on the prize and I’ll keep heading in the direction I know will get me to it, even if I go inch-by-inch.
So last week was pretty challenging with respects to my fitness regime but just as I wrote in a previous post, we must be stubborn about our goals and flexible about our methods.
That being said I was flexible. I attended the gym 3 times last week, the Fiton exercises have been non-existent… needless to say I will be working on that. But I did literal gym time which is where I’ve always struggled to be consistent. So YAY for that.
I don’t know why BUT I was super exhausted this past week so getting to the gym was a trial in itself, but when I went I gave it my all.
On Monday my sister and I adhered to the workout plan cardio, weights and core. However, Wednesday once we finished cardio, we looked at each other and decided we needed to spice things up. Ultimately, we ended up doing a virtual Zumba class, which neither of us have ever done before. Might I say, not too shabby. The Zumba was a way for us to move and get a workout in when we both really didn’t feel like working out.
Thursday, our aquafit day never came to fruition as I was in a pretty foul mood (Nutmeg, my dog woke me up 4 times throughout the night!!!! The little turkey assisted me with waking up on the wrong side of the bed) this resulted in me having no desire to be wet. So that one was on me.
Friday’s workout ended up turning into a Saturday’s workout. My sisters and their families and my husband and I, all went out and didn’t get home until 11pm on Friday night. Needless to say my sister and I opted to do leg day the next day.
Consistent gym time is the objective, and when I get to the gym my goal is to give it my all. I’m happy to say, even though my energy level was low I gave all that I had to give in each session I went. Perhaps my 100% of effort this past week only looked like 75% in my previous weeks BUT that’s not the point. Every day; Every workout I want to be aware of what I have to offer and let’s be honest – it is going to fluctuate.
DO NOT GET DOWN ON YOURSELF if your everything doesn’t meet or surpass a previous workout. Do what you can with what you have to offer on that given day.
Previously (years ago), when I was obsessed with the gym I would go for 2 hours everyday. Drip sweat and nearly die each and every workout. I had a standard that I required myself to meet and there was no mercy granted to myself. This my friends is not how you build a healthy, sustainable relationship with the gym OR yourself. Show compassion, kindness, patience and mercy towards yourself on the days that you don’t feel your best. You deserve a pat on the back for just getting to the gym.
Every workout will not be a spitting image of the previous one. Your energy will fluctuate and that is where you need to give it your all and know that it is enough. Be realistic with yourself and you will be able to give yourself a whole lot more love and appreciation for what you do accomplish. Give it your all, whatever that looks like throughout your week and you’ll never lose.
Now my friends, stats for the week.
Heaviest Weight: 198lbs Goal Weight: 155 Current Weight: 170.2
Bust: 40″ Waist: 31″ Hips: 41.5″
Regardless to the numbers posted above, I see and feel that progress is being made. My relationship with fitness is the healthiest it’s ever been and my relationship with food is heading in the right direction. All in all I know I’m getting closer to my fitness and wellness goals each day and for that I am grateful and proud of myself.
I have to say not focusing on the weight and focusing on how I feel makes this post a lot easier to write.
I feel great! I feel healthier and stronger than I have in a long time. I feel leaner BUT maybe it is all in my head, because as you will see below with the pictures there isn’t a whole lot of a difference (at least to me).
With respects to my weight, over the past month it has fluctuated, ideally I want the number to be going down not up, so without further ado let’s get into the stats and then pictures.
Heaviest Weight: 198lbs Goal Weight: 155lbs
Jan 1/2020 Weight: 172.2 Current Weight: 169.6 (I haven’t been in the 160s since 2014!!)
Jan 1/2020 Bust: 40″ Current Bust: 40″
Jan 1/2020 Waist: 32″ Current Waist: 31″
Jan 1/2020 Hips: 42.5″ Current Hips: 42″
Jan 1/2020 Bonus Measurements: Neck: 14″ Biceps: 12″ Thighs: 24.5″
Current Bonus Measurements: Neck: 14″ Biceps: 12″ Thighs: 24″
And now for the good stuff, pictures…
I feel like my shoulders are poppin’ a bit more in February… small differences.
So there you have it! Honestly, I don’t see that big of a difference (maybe just with my waist and shoulders??) BUT I feel like there is a difference and I’m liking how my clothes are fitting a whole lot more.
Someone who is the real MVP in this journey is my sister, she has been working her booty off and is down 11lbs! I’m not about to post her pictures BUT the difference is unreal. I am so grateful to be on this journey with her and I feel so honored that I have had the ability to help her achieve her goals (while having fun together!)
Working out and eating right should not be a chore. If it is a chore than it’s not a lifestyle. When you make living healthy a way of life there are endless possibilities to what you can achieve and the journey is SO much more enjoyable.
I’ll touch on my eating habits because I mentioned I was going to be stepping up my A game. Prior to getting married I did weight watchers for 3 months. I found success with their program and was able to find confidence as I wore my wedding dress and took pictures (an amazing feeling). However, I focused a bit too much on the weight component and soon became unmotivated and ultimately decided I was better off on my own after the wedding.
Perhaps, that would have been fine had I truly embraced the lifestyle of healthy eating… however my husband and I went on a bit of a binge together and we would buy candy, ice cream and pie …. like all the time. Pizza was plentiful in our household and although I was attending the gym at a mediocre basis I was packing on the weight AND feeling more and more insecure. Ultimately in the first year of marriage, I gained 16 lbs from when I was at my wedding weight. I was a solid 186lbs, BUT when we moved back to the homeland in December I started eating more plant based and lost weight.
Lately, my weight has fluctuated around 172-174 and I was feeling frustrated because I was EATING CLEAN AND HEALTHY and yet I felt bloated and was on the rise while also working out 4-5 times a week. The story goes on, and ultimately my sister and I together decided we would give weight watchers another try and this time embrace the healthy and portion controlled eating. I have to say we have not been disappointed. No more bloating (TMI) and the numbers on the scale have been reflecting the work we are putting in. Mind you before weight watchers my sister was down 6lbs in 3 weeks and now she is down an additional 5lbs! She is killing it! AND to make the experience more sweet, our husbands have joined us on the weight watchers journey. We plan all our meals with our spouses and it is an amazing experience to have the support of my sister and husband with this overhaul of nutrition.
Fun fact: I was eating healthy prior to weight watchers BUT since joining it has been eye opening with how out of whack my portions were. That was the kicker. You can eat clean BUT if you over eat you aren’t doing yourself any favors.
I’m on a journey my friends and it has really only just begun. I want to see the changes I can make in 9 months from the start of January and I have 8 more months to go. I’m hungry for change, I’m hungry for goals, I’m in this for the long haul and I don’t think I would be as committed or consistent as I am if it weren’t for my partner in crime; my sister.
I used to love working out alone, I’d get in the zone and crush my workouts – but times have changed and that mindset doesn’t work as well for me anymore compared to having an accountability partner who pushes me to give it my all at the gym. Quite often you can hear me quote that, “I’m going to throw up”. Music to my ears, I give it my all and at the end of each session there is nothing more to give – that energy and drive is thanks to my sister who pushes me to be better for her and me too.
Gushy post, but I don’t want you to underestimate the power of a workout partner. If the way you were doing things doesn’t work for you anymore – change it! Change your approach until you find a rhythm you can dance to and have fun with. Working out is my happy place and I’m grateful the love and commitment is blossoming once again in my life.
Last week was a lot mentally. However, I’m happy to say I worked out through it all. I made it! I had a constant in my life that I stayed consistent with and although I didn’t feel the greatest mentally I did get a pick me up when I checked off my workout.
I was drained and I felt it, but I tried to push through and gave all that I could muster and that’s all I ask of myself each time I start an exercise.
Friday: Cardio & pushups warm-up, legs and glutes, core
My gym routine is a work in progress BUT there is continual progress being made with each workout done.
I’m planning on overhauling my diet to hopefully see some more drastic results, because you can’t outwork a bad diet. To be honest, mine hasn’t been that bad BUT I think my problem is it’s inconsistent and the portion sizes gets me. So bring on the new challenge that will hopefully tip the scale in the direction I want to be seeing.
Not feeling the stats, but for the sake of the journey and accountability here we go.
Highest Weight: 198lbs Goal Weight: 155lbs Current Weight: 173.8
Bust: 40″ Waist: 32″ Hips: 42.5″
I’m trying not to get caught up with the stats this week as there are certain womanly factors in play at the moment, which can often lead to a change in weight and tummy circumference… if you pick up what I’m putting down. Hopefully next week will yield more positive fruit from my labours.