Brace Yourself

The time is at hand for another major change in my life. And all I can say is, “bring it on!

We are moving closer to family and doctors! Primary reason is we want to start thinking of building our own little family and it’s just not realistic to even think such thoughts while living in our current city.

1. It’s crazy expensive. Which to put it simply means – good luck living off one income for any amount of time; and
2. The doctors ….. are no bueno.

Am I sad to be moving? Not really… yet at the same time a little bit of a yes.

I LOVE (which could even be considered an understatement) where I work. I hit the jackpot with this law firm and literally everyone who works in it. I have great benefits (my medication is 100% covered) and as an added benefit they even pay for my multi-facility gym pass. Literally, living the dream. Did I mention that I have my own office?! I will be sad to leave it/them all behind BUT I am trying to be optimistic that I will find a similar fit in my new city. **fingers crossed**

Something I am grateful that I get to take away from this particular office is that I feel 1,000,000 times more confident in my career as a legal assistant. The value placed on my work has been so rewarding and positive; literally 2 bonuses in 1 year (this is not to brag, but emphasis how valued they have made me feel and might I add that it goes beyond the fiscal gesture).

This work experience was exactly what I needed after my last gig. Gee wiz, I still get sick thinking about it. But that’s another thing, in 1 year of work at this firm I’ve litetally called in sick 4 days!!!!! (And that was 98% due to my insomnia) That’s insane! I didn’t even use all my sick days! Which lets just say was not the case previously. It blows my mind how having positive peers and a great work atmosphere can impact your mental health at work so drastically. Let’s just say I missed more than 4 days at my former place of employment and dreaded going to work more often than naught.

But seriously, in short with my career and my marriage I have to say this move has been so rewarding. I think moving away in its entirety even with the medical support and financial struggles was the best decision we could have made as newlyweds. (We struggled, but we learned to budget and have come up with a pretty sizable downpayment towards a house #goal2021) We clung to each other and strengthened our relationship, because it was literally just the two of us with no one else around. We both didn’t have wild social lives, so we pretty much did everything together. Don’t get me wrong we had our own personal space, but I think it was the perfect amount of “us time” , before we considered bringing other family or baby(s) into our bubble. I definitely feel grounded in our relationship.

** Side note: I think I’ll make a post about what I’ve done to keep my part of our relationship healthy and comment on what my husband has done to keep his part of our relationship healthy. It’s been a learning process for both parties. And I feel like in the journey of being a newlywed I can admit I did not post a ton of content – let’s just say I was enjoying the moment and finding my stride amidst a ton of changes.

But holy cow! I am going to be reunited with my parents, sisters and all my loveable nieces and nephews andddd grandparents! Excitment is an understatement!

My husband and I are both excited and nervous for our move, it is happening at the end of the month. I’m trying to be as pro-active as possible with preparing the details such as renting a carpet cleaner, booking the moving van, finding boxes and packing paper for FREE, getting moving equipment to colour coordinate – that’s right my friends, I am colour coordinating our moving boxes and I’ve started packing already. Additionally, I’ve posted some furniture to sell. We ship out November 30th so I am hoping to relax as the day approaches by doing the bulk of the work in these earlier days.

I do have to say, and I can admit – my mood has been a wee bit touchy lately. I don’t know if it’s a combination of sheer excitement and nerves of anticipation, but I’m a bit on edge. I have been having a hard time sleeping and I think it’s all blossomed into me being quite agitated. I’ve caught myself tipping the scale of rationality with things that generally would not solicite such a dark reaction. Gratefully, my husband accepts my apologies when I take it a little too far.

I literally told him he was never allowed to build furniture again, I didn’t yell it, I just simply stated it (the drama! I know) all because there was a 3 pieces put on backwards for a bedside table he built. Did I notice the error earlier? Nope, it obviously wasnt that significant. However, the level of OCD OMEGA was real- I was almost in tears and the table was already sold and taken. Just knowing it was built wrong hurt my heart. Silly things, I know. It makes no rational sense to be so upset over it and today I can say I am free of those negative feelings BUT oh how in that moment the all-or-nothing distortion had me out of sorts.

It is times like these that I lean on my former counselling. Times like these where I try to narrate my life so I can hear it aloud for myself and realize it’s not as complicated or stressful as I’m making it out to be in my head; talking myself off the ledge so to speak.

It’s a move back to my former province, back to family, not to Mars! It’s silly how changes can impact me so much. It’s simple, yet, I’m so overwhelmed I could cry not even because I’m sad. I’m happy, just overwhelmed. I have a check list of things we need to do before and what needs to be done in the first 2 weeks of landing (figuratively speaking – because in actuality we are driving 16 hrs).

Again, trying to stay organized and planning with wiggle room for adjustments (something I didn’t allot in my former years of planning styles). I can plan, colour coordinate and have everything ready to go BUT I’ve learned that doesnt mean its going to go the way you intend it to and rather than fall to pieces like my former self would – I roll-ish with the punches and re-navigate to get back on course as smoothly as possible.

Big changes, but exciting changes. Hopefully, I’ll be able to maintain some consistency with my blog posts during and after this move. I have some hot topics on my mind. I’m just the worst at writing in advance. I generally work on my post throughout my week and BAM post it when its complete. I read how some bloggers have posts months in advance… I dont think that quite works with my style of blogging. Se la vie.

Thank you for your constant support. Here is to a new chapter being written in my book of life!

– Steph