We Have A Winner

I think I can say SUCCESS!

I’ve found my sweet spot in terms of medication and life. I did what I said I was potentially going to do. I adjusted some medication around (sort of with the consent of my psychiatrist, but in all honesty she doesn’t take me serious. She said I could see her in 7 months…. okay then).

I’m taking lower doses of the sleeping aids, yet I am sleeping. Better yet, I am waking up alert and full of zest. I feel rested and I feel alive. No more haze. I am focusing energy on the gym and I think that is helping with my sleep.

I’ve got a few goals going in terms of my active mind. I am trying to take baby steps into a consistent routine of reading, studying and learning. I dont want an idle mind. An idle mind is a dangerous mind AND I feel like there is so much potential to tap into if I try.

I’m no genius, but I do love to learn and apply myself – at least that is what I was always like before and I am trying to get back on that level. Actual I want to get to that level and then surpass it.

My sister asked me if my husband has seen my “I can do everything and anything” mode. I laughed and replied “yes”. I talked with my husband and he told me so long as my “everything and anything” mode is seeking to improve myself he is all for it and will support my endeavours (within reason). I have to say the last few weeks I’ve had a million ideas swirling in my head of what I want to do and how I’m going to do it, what classes I need to take etc etc..

However, I think I am doing a good job at telling myself “you can’t do it all at once”, although I want to take on a lot for the sake of learning and personal betterment – I am trying to pace myself so that I don’t burn myself out.

Catch yourself before the fall, walk before you run. Set a pace and keep it and then if you get comfortable pick it up a bit more and then a bit more.

Presently I am studying classical guitar, I would also like to add classical/folk music voice lessons… I want to commit and focus on my Spanish and IF I commit to self study, my husband and I talked about the prospect of me talking a class at the university BUT I need to be committed. This was my plan after my initial impulse was to enroll in everything at once…. but then I was like hold up, lets take it down a notch.

There are other areas of study I want to dabble in but I will break that down in another post. Think modern renaissance woman…. if that gets your mind going then you are in the same boat as me.

I love opportunity for improvement. For growth. To reflect.

I’m grateful I self-checked, and saw a problem with my haze and complacency with the medication in my life.

Be self aware my friends. If something feels off, take initiative to find a solution to fix it – if you don’t, who will? You have this life, I have this life, let’s not waste it.

– Steph

An Almost Life Crisis

Holy cow!

So much has transpired since my last post.

First off, why I didn’t post…. for the record I had every intention of posting at least once per week since my post on the 17th, but the earth fell from underneath me (I am not really someone to have pretty written posts… I am however leaning towards this idea because I have lots of ideas swirling and it would be good to fall back on when “life happens”.

So how in the world did the world fall from beneath me? Let me tell you – it started with my baby. My furbaby. A little piece of my living and beating heart, Nutmeg. My husband and I went camping over the May long weekend. Nutmeg was super happy to be on our little adventure and was running around and barking as per usual. Everything was perfect. (my health has been on the rise so it literally was one of those perfect Kodak moments).

We arrived at our campsite Friday and left on Sunday. We had Monday off, and had just wanted the extra day to relax at home rather than be on the road driving back before work the next day.

Typically Nutmeg sleeps in the bed with us, but on Sunday she was out like a light in her kennel, so I let her be. Everyone went to sleep. Everything was normal. Everything was fine.

Monday rolls around, I go to Nutmeg’s kennel to pick her up. (Her kennel is like a large play pen with a dog bed, food and water and a pee pad at the end. Lots of space. As soon as I swooped her up she let out a cry. It startled me and at first I thought I pinched her with a nail… but then… I went to put her down on the ground and her back legs gave way underneath her and she couldn’t stand or walk. Long terrible story short, we went to emergency did an x-ray and they said it had to do with her vertebraes “intervertebral dog disc disease”. I spent the entire week following that visit crying. Nutmeg was so weak, unable to stand, unable to walk, unable to do her business without being held up. It broke my heart, however there was a light. My vet said that after 6 weeks of crate rest she should be back to normal, how this works? I have no idea BUT I’m not going to argue. She is still warbly when she walks but from the first day this transpired she has come leaps and bounds. She is definitely improving.

I am so blessed to work where I work, they let me keep her in my office until she was at the point where she could be left alone. Incredible.

This was more of an update post, but I have posts in the works now that my mind isn’t completely consumed with Nutmeg’s health and life.

She was my only priority and the blog plans, life, it was put on hold.

I hope everyone is doing well.

At this point I am doing well.

One day at a time.

– Steph