Farewell My Little Love


On Tuesday I said goodbye to one of my hearts most cherished treasures. I said goodbye to our family dog, Canela. She lived a life filled with love, both in giving and receiving. 

She would have turned 17 in December and I have no doubt that she would have lived past that, but it was her time. She was no longer having good days, and her body just wasn’t coping with her aged body. My family and I are certain without doubt that she held on to life as long as she did because of our love for her. 

I remember the day we brought her home, I was in grade 4 and I had convinced my mom I was sick. I was so excited to be getting a puppy and she was adorable – absolutely adorable. Over the course of Canela’s life I trained her to do numerous tricks such as, play dead, army crawl, roll over, shake a paw, dance and a few others. She was one smart cookie. 

Canela was a family dog, but it was clear who her mom was – my mom. If my mom got up Canela was up, if my mom moved Canela moved. It was like this to the end. This isn’t to say the rest of us were chopped liver, but Canela adored my mom. It saddens me to know how sad my mom is over the loss of her. It has hit my entire family hard but for my mom it especially breaks my heart.

My youngest sister was in grade 1 when we got Canela and now she is married with a 1 year old and plans for another. Canela has been thru so much, she will be missed. It’s crazy to think of how much time she’s experienced with our family. 

“Pets” are more than just pets, they are extensions of your beating heart. Filling your life with so much more meaning than you would otherwise have. Canela was practically 17 and my little Nutmeg will be 7 in November. Time is precious and so are their lives.

I have no doubt my life has been enriched because of Canela’s place in it, she will be missed more than words can express. 

My hope is that you all can experience such fulfilling love in your lifetime.

– Steph

Advertisements

On Your Darkest Days


I am going to share with you one word that I’ve applied to my life and it’s made a huge difference. 

Compartmentalize

It’s a big word with a potentially big impact. 

Let me tell you why. I have lows, and they can be bad, they can be ugly, they can be long. BUT just because I have them doesn’t mean everything is bad, it may seem like it BUT it’s just not the case. 

So what does that mean? It means that there is more to life than my low. More to life than your low, and if you can compartmentalize while you are in your low you will see that more clearly. 

Someone recently asked me how I was doing. I’ve been in a low lately, and this was my response: “Personally I’m not really feeling well, but if I step outside of just me – work is great, my family is doing good, the gym is going really well, and I have exciting plans coming up. Aside from “me” feeling poorly everything else in life is going great.”

Did you catch that? I expressed that me alone I am not doing well, but when I looked at different areas of my life, when I looked at all the pieces that equate to making up my life – the verdict is that my life is actually going really well regardless.

I may be feeling poorly but that doesn’t mean my life is a reflection of that. 

And for so long that was my thought process. If I feel terrible my life is terrible. This was my mindset and it was a black hole that I would feed in my darkest hours. 

Am I perfect at compartmentalizing? No, but I have realized that when I try to go thru my dark days with this mind set, it makes everything that much easier. And I am sure if your lows are anything like mine, they are anything but easy.

There are so many layers to your life. I guarantee that they all can’t be going downhill just because we feel like we are in the depths of despair. If needs be write it down! Write down what is going right in your life, separate to your feelings. I am always an advocate for writing down your thoughts, there is something so powerful about seeing something tangible. So instead of writing down your feelings – scratch that. Write down what is going right, whatever that might be. Make a distinction between how you feel and what is going on in your life. You’ll be surprised that things aren’t as bad as they seem. It may be annoying to hear BUT when you are the one convincing yourself of that rather than someone else, its so much more bearable.

Hopefully this can help you battle your darkest days. You are stronger than you realize. 

– Steph

Another Year Bites the Dust


It’s that time of year again. Time for me to turn 1 year older. 

I turned 26 on October 11th. 26! It’s hard to believe, I am closer to 30 than I am 20.

In all seriousness, I’m fine with getting older I just don’t want to get old alone. That’s when age freaks me out, that’s when I lose my cool-calm-and-collected composure. 

I had a bit of a premature party the other day prior to my birthday – it was a pity party to be exact. I was already extra emotional from being in a low, but the fact that I’m as single as it gets turning 26 really stung. Needless to say, I have some amazing people in my life and as I talked throughout the day with them I gradually started to feel better. By the end of the night I was ready to face 26, better yet I was ready to own it.

I realized that I am so much more than a number and relationship status (shocking I know), I have done so much and I am going to do so much. I should celebrate my 26th year because I’ve worked so hard to have it.

The opportunities ahead of me are limitless, my adventure is continuing and I am grateful for that. 

I celebrated my birthday with my family and my sisters all worked together to orchestrate a wonder woman theme. They said they look at me in my life and think that I am wonder woman, which really means a lot to me. It’s silly because she is just a fictional character, BUT she denotes a strength and confidence that I do hope to emulate. The fact my sisters all think of me in that light means I am doing something right.

In my last post I expressed that I was excited about life AND that still rings true at the ripe old age of 26. I am excited about life – about my life.  

My life just keeps getting better and I know that my 26th year is no exception. There are no limits.

– Steph 

Just Live A Little


Life.

My oh my. 

I’m currently working on making the most of my life. Recently I had someone walk into my life, mind you I showed them the exit… BUT for the brief time they were in my life they caused me to re-evaluate how I was living it. I am the most stable I’ve ever been – this is a fact. But there is more than just being stable. More than just holding the status quo.

I’ve done things in my life, but I haven’t all at the same time. Living was such a struggle for so many years I feel like my life was a bit of a write-off. Perhaps I haven’t completely escaped the mentality of just surviving. 

But I’m here. I’m alive and I want my life to reflect that.

I was asked about my bucket list and I only had 2 things to list off. On top of that the two ideas weren’t even that creative! 

That just won’t do.

Over the course of two weeks I developed a bucket list. Or rather “lists”. One list outlines things I would like to do over the course of 2017/2018, and the other lists things I’d like to do in a lifetime. I’m trying to step outside of my box, escape the mundane routine I’ve created. Add a little bedazzle. Spice things up. You get the idea.

I’m really proud of my list, it took quite a bit of effort to create it. 

It’s so easy to get into a routine, routine is good don’t get me wrong BUT there should be more. More to life. Where did my exploratory nature go? Where is my sense of adventure?

I was going thru a bit of depression the past while, feeling trapped. But I realized I was the one putting myself in the cage or like I referred to it earlier – a box. I was the one restricting myself, no one else.

When you feel trapped you are the only one who can free yourself, whatever that situation may be.

Escaping our box is a choice, and most often it requires that we put in effort and feel a bit uncomfortable. And why must we feel uncomfortable? Because my dear friends, we are stepping outside of our norm and its the price we must pay.

And when I say I want to live life I don’t mean I need to climb Mount Everest or backpack thru Europe, not saying I’d turn down the opportunity.  What I’m talking about is reading books, going to museums and art galleries, taking guitar lessons, joining a choir, going to a paint night (which I just did … my painting was terrible! But I had fun making it, and that’s what it’s all about), simple yet impactful things that will add dimension to my life. 

Dimension that’s my objective. I want to have something to talk about, things to look forward to. I want to meet people, enrich my life with perspective. Expand my way of looking at life and take advantage of the life I’ve been blessed with.

I want to be an actively engaged in my life rather than passively letting it pass me by.

I feel so passionately about this new outlook on life, I feel alive and excited for what is to going to happen because of me making it happen. 

Ask yourself if you are trapped in routine, feeling like life is escaping you – then make a list. Make a list of things outside of your box and start doing them.

It’s been a big year for me. Lots of new chapters with school ending, me getting my dream job, a couple of toads crossing my path. I feel like in my life’s story is picking up its pace and it’s only going to get better! 

Stop thinking about all the things you’d like to do. Take action and do them. Liberate yourself from the box you live in and add dimension to your life. Stay stable but add a little bedazzle. 

– Steph