Empty Promises


Last week was a whirlwind of emotions. So pardon my lack of posting.

Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out. Lo and behold you don’t. 

When is enough, enough? 

When is someone’s behaviour no longer acceptable? At what point do you reach the end of the line where their excuses aren’t good enough any more, and you aren’t going to take them.

When do we check out? 

I honestly don’t know. I’d like to say as soon as we know we are being treated wrong. 

But that’s the thing – 

We stand up for ourselves when we know we are being treated wrong. We go thru that motion, that expression of self. But then what? 

We give them another chance and they hurt and disappoint us. We stand up for ourselves again demanding a change – to be treated better and then we accept their apology and BAM we go right back into that cycle. And for what? Love? But can it really be love when its one sided?

Sadly, yes it can be. For you it can be. For you it can be a pure love felt for the other person BUT the reality is they arent loving you back the same – if at all. It’s not healthy. Not for you. You give and give and give and you get nothing in return except emotional torment.

Yet, here we are trying to convince ourselves that we aren’t allowing ourselves to be suckered into some sort of toxic relationship – because how could we be when the other person knows that we know we should be treated better. That can’t be toxic, everyone is aware of what’s going on. 

But guess what?! 

They don’t care! It doesn’t matter that they know you know your worth. As long as you let them into your life. Time and time again nothing is going to change. 

Why should it? 

They can do as they please, apologize and everything will go on like it did before.

But when is enough, enough?

How do you let them go?

How do you choose pain? Because that’s what it is. Letting go of the person you love, turning away from them as they beg you not to go. Turning away from them as they profess their love for you, that you so desperately want them to give you. How do you turn away when they are telling you that they know they are in the wrong – acknowledging everything that you’ve been trying to have them see. Doing all of these things. Talking about change. Begging you to not leave them. How do you walk away? 

You just do. You cry most of the time. But the pain is part of the process. That’s why it’s called a broken heart.

All of those things they say are just words. Words at the end of the day that mean nothing. Words that are never applied to action.

And you can’t live a life waiting on words.

It gets you no where. No where other than hurt and disappointed.

When is enough, enough?

How do we stop ourselves from going back? How do we break out of the cycle?

We try. That’s all we can do is try. Try and try again. 

It’s not easy. I’m terrible at it. 

When your heart is set on something it’s hard to let it go. 

But like my sister said. You either choose to be hurt by them over and over again, or you choose to leave and temporarily hurt knowing the pain will eventually go away.

It’s just so hard. 

– Steph

 

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