It’s been so long since I’ve posted. I’ve wanted to but I felt like I was too far gone, so I haven’t, I’ve just thought about it for months, telling myself I’ll muster up enough courage to jump back on the horse.
What a silly thing to have anxiety over and yet I had anxiety over it. About writing and failing. Failing to be consistent, failing to adequately express myself. Anxiety can be crippling.
I honestly really enjoyed the time I spent writing posts, I think at the end of the day I put to much pressure on myself and I lost the spark. Maybe it was me or my mood – ultimately it’s the same difference.
Regardless, I’m going to attempt to move past the anxiety and get back to writing.
So much has happened over these past months.
1. I finished school. I literally finished! It’s been a long time coming but I did it, and I couldn’t be more proud of myself. I start a practicum downtown next week. I’ve always dreamed of working downtown and now it’s actually happening!
2. I’m in a relationship. CRAZY. I know, it’s a work in progress but it’s real. After 2 years I’ve actually met someone worthwhile.
3. I’ve graduated from therapy! Not really but sort of. My psychiatrist told me yesterday that I could see her in 3 months rather than 6 weeks. To me that’s huge! She is confident in me and my stability. Also my psychologist told me we don’t need to meet every 2 weeks, and that I can call to book appointments as I see fit. Which I’ve done – because I’m not throwing away everything out the window. When I need help I ask for it, it’s all about knowing yourself and recognizing the support system is there for you to use even if you are “doing great”.
4. I started working with a trainer to meet my physical goals. I’m working out and eating right and I know it’s only a matter of time before I reach my goal body.
At the end of the day I’m happy. I’m happy with how far I’ve come this past year. I’m happy with the work over put into my overall health – mentally, physically, and spiritually. I’m happy with the goals I’ve met and the goals I’ve set. Life is beautiful. Challenging, but beautiful.
My goal is to keep going and keep growing.