Dear Body

  
Could this be any more perfect?

I fell off the wagon BIG TIME. All the time I spent in the gym, all the efforts in making sure I ate (and ate healthy) went out the window. Heck doing my hair and wearing makeup went out the window too.

I alternatively binged on garbage and didn’t even remotely attempt to go to the gym.  I slept and slept and ate and slept some more. (If you’ve read previous posts I’m sure your starting to see that sleep is an avoidance strategy I use when it comes to life and me not wanting to participate in it – I am trying to work on it)

Everything seemed pointless, I was frustrated and overwhelmed with emotions and my solution was to shut down and self loathe. 

Not a good solution. Actually let’s not kid ourselves – it’s not a solution at all.

But that’s what I did, and where did it lead me? It led me to sweatpants and hoodies. You read that right. 

I gained a substantial amount of weight over the last month and a half (I could probably say 2 months) my clothes don’t fit unless we count clothes that have elasticity. What a sad and yet funny truth.

So where does this reality leave me? It leaves me with a choice – continue to do nothing to improve my self care ; sabotaging my health OR take back control by loving and nourishing my body to its optimal health. (It wouldn’t hurt to do my hair and makeup every now and then either)

It’s so easy to sit back and do nothing but sleep and eat in despair – but that leads nowhere fast. 

Don’t fool yourself into thinking your beyond hope, there is always hope. It didn’t take me a day to gain this weight so I can’t expect to lose it in a day.

One day at a time; one glorious determined day at a time. I’ve set my goal to go one week at a time so that I don’t jump ship and bail. 

I’m human and so are you. I’ve  struggled with my weight since high school – there’ve been lots of attributing factors BUT I can tell you that ignoring my health throwing my hands up and saying “to heck with it” isn’t going to solve the problem and it’s not going to help me love myself.

Love yourself to care enough to keep up “self care” even when you hit those blasted lows. That may mean eating healthier, that may mean getting up to shower or even brushing your hair, it may mean hitting the gym OR all of the above.

What ever it may be, DO IT. And keep going, if you have to throw yourself out of bed DO IT. 

I hope that after you read this post you don’t feel entirely alone, thinking your the only one to give up on self care – your not – it happens and the beautiful truth is that we can pick up and keep going. 

We can do it. And if you need a reminder I hope I’ll be here to give it. 

This journey of life is progress not perfection.

– Steph 

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