Boiling Point

We all have a boiling point and truth be told it’s okay to be angry. That’s something I’m working on it.

Perhaps the notions sounds silly BUT without a word of a lie, that was the task delegated to me today from my doctor.

My problem with anger is that I always turn it inwards. I never just let myself be angry at the person or situation. I don’t know how to just be angry without harping on myself. Which ultimately turns into me getting down on myself and getting depressed – not angry.

 Stupid is usually the word that comes to mind once I get “angry”.But I’m not stupid – I have every right to feel angry whether it’s actually a valid reason in the eyes of the world or not. If I’ve felt wronged I can be angry about it – simple as that.

The key is to let the anger in so that you can let it out. That way it’s not festering within you. Anger is one of the steps to grieving. True story.

I thought I grieved and got past my anger but the truth is I didn’t and how my doctor (and I) can tell is, it’s like a boomerang I’m angry at myself over and over again for the same reason- 

Key word angry at me not the person who wronged me … Somehow he alway seems to be off the hook and I’m left with mess all on my own even though I didn’t make it.

Nothing about that cycle tells me that I’ve directed the real anger where it needs to go; otherwise I would be able to let it go. And so far I can’t. It’s been futile.

And let me clarify that feeling anger is VERY different then acting on it. Don’t do that, acting in anger is a recipe for disaster. 

So with this all being said, what I’m trying to do is encourage you to reflect and ask yourself if you’re sincerely letting yourself feel angry (which is healthy) or if your doing what I do – turning the anger inwards (you don’t deserve that) boomeranging and come back over and over for the same reason.

Think on it and make the conscious decision to let it come so it can go. The sooner we learn how to do this the happier we’ll be… so I’m told. But who am I kidding that theory makes perfect sense.

– Steph

6 thoughts on “Boiling Point

  1. Good observation. I’ve recognized this but it inevitably happens when there’s no outlet for expressing our anger to the responsible party. There’s no give & take, no back & forth, no resolution. How frustrating. Did your doctor tell you how to gain satisfaction from being angry at someone else when that individual is not available to receive it? (Rhetorical question.) We need a place for our anger to go, so we turn it on ourselves for being so stupid to enable it in the first place. So far the only workable resolve I’ve found is the healing of time, gradually replacing or perhaps even identifying/putting to rest our need to be angry at all. Thanks for your post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • (Sorry for the delayed response, for some reason your comment didn’t show until today) Time is definitely a factor in the healing process, time will only work if we let the anger come and then go. Acknowledging your right to have it without the validation from the other party. It’s easier said then done but if you remind yourself that you are entitled to feel what you feel… it helps, even if the stimulant for that anger never comprehends the extent of their actions.
      My doctor suggested writing out the anger, not holding back what is truly making you angry (which ultimately is not you) write what is the fuse that was lit to make the anger in the first place, and write it out to acknowledge you in fact aren’t the root of the anger. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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