Love is incredible. Whether your being loved or you love someone. It’s one of the truest purest emotions I’ve ever felt in my life… and I’ve felt a lot of emotions. I love my family, I love my little Nutmeg, I love my friends. And in all honesty I love everyone that may sound like a cliche BUT it’s true, when you look at someone and think of their value, their individual worth and their story…. how could you not love them? (Does this love match the love offered to those closest to me? No, that’s on another level BUT it is possible to still care and sincerely want the best for all people because of love)
I don’t commit to people easily when it comes to friendships or relationships but when I do, I do. I don’t mess around or play mind games, plot or talk behind peoples back. Those are ugly traits and I’ve been exposed to them enough to know THAT I never want to subject someone else to that behavior. THAT is not love. When I love, I love fully because time’s precious and anything can change in a heart beat.
Yesterday I had a panic attack, I am getting better at not having them so frequently… I’m probably down to 1 or 2 per month. And even so they are not always severe BUT yesterday’s was a doozi. I was with my sister at an appointment, it was literally an all day event and at one point I received an unexpected call. Nutmeg was gone. My heart felt like it had been stabbed and I couldn’t breathe. Nutmeg is A. 4lbs B. Adorable C. Not wearing her city dog tag (it’s too big and she always gets her paw stuck in it) and it was just starting to storm, which gave me even more reason to panic (and yes in my head I was like why the heck did she get out outside just as thunder was coming she is terrified of thunder??!). She was out their all alone, anyone could find and take her forever and she hates storms… (Yes, I recognize that was me being pessimistic about people being honest and kind hearted.. which in situations like these I need to work harder at not doing)
One minute I was laughing the next minute I felt like I was dying. Love is so powerful which is why I will reiterate love fully because you never know what could happen. Gratefully I was called within the hour that Nutmeg had been found… she was hiding and curled up behind my car tire (I honestly had been crying and hyperventilating the whole time… talk about getting a headache) I honestly had been praying in my heart and I do acknowledge Nutmeg being found was a blessing NOT luck. As well I couldn’t believe the kindess that was shown towards me – neighbour’s I didn’t even know were out looking for her, this acted as a reminder that I need to have more faith in the goodness of people.
Unfortunately the reality of life is that we are not always so fortunate as find what is lost. And because of this I imlpore you not take the ones you love for granted or rather don’t take sharing your love with then for granted. I have tried to live in a way that no matter what happens my family and friends know I love them. When I was 15 a hard reality hit me and since that moment I’ve tried to never leave without saying “I love you”, because quite frankly it could be the last time I get to. I’m human I get angry and I storm out because get I need to get air… but in those moments I always try to breathe and put real life into perspective (it’s fragile) this usually results in a grumpy “I love you”… but an “I love you” none the less.
Although I would have died on the inside had Nutmeg not been found, I did have the slightest piece of peace knowing I gave her a kiss on the head before I left, and she knows that she’s loved.
Life is so unpredictable and things happen beyond our control in the blink of an eye. But even so, we have a choice, we can choose to live in a way that the ones we love know without a doubt they are loved at all times, they don’t have to wonder. Make sure you let the people (or pets) in your life know that you love them. Don’t let simple opportunities pass you, only later to be filled with regret or remorse.
Time is not a certainty BUT love is and it’s yours to give, give it wisely, give it fully and give it honestly.