Ohhh grumpy cat, how I love you. Hopefully the math I’m about to talk about doesn’t make you cry….
.5 + .5 = 1
1 + 1 = infinity
The math is simple, the results are life changing.
When it comes to a relationship I do not want to have someone complete me, I do not want to be someone’s better half, I do not want to be made whole because someone is in my life. I want synergy.
I want the sum to be greater than the separate entities. I want to be complete all on my own and I want my partner to be complete all on his own, that way when we come together we have a sum greater than 1. We have infinite potential.
I do not want a relationship that is dependent. I want interdependence, and interdependence is only achievable if we have independence…. let me explain
Interdependence is when we have our independence (we are our own person) BUT we realize that interactions with others makes life more meaningful and enriching. (This particular concept is from: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People ** I highly recommend reading it**)
How can we truly gain a fulfilling relationship when we depend on the another person to fill us up? With synergy we are complete and we recognize our differences AND that’s what makes it beautiful.
Differences should not be a cause for fighting rather they should propel your relationship forward. When you value the differences within your relationship you compensate for weaknesses.
I am not in a relationship currently , however I was in one & there was absolutely no synergy, I’ve recently had opportunities to enter into new relationships… but I knew for a fact there would again be no synergy. Instead there would be neediness and dependency on me to make that individual feel happy or to make them feel complete. BEEN there DONE that!
Synergy is not unachievable, however it does require communication and more effort/ sincere patience on both parties AND I have no interest in settling for less than that. BEEN there DONE that!
I would recommend you do an inventory of yourself and where you stand independently. Look at the relationship you are in or the one you desire to enter into eventually. Do you have the independence to choose interdependence? Do you have the interdependence to choose synergy? Do you need to communicate so both you and your partner can have the same goals?
If so that’s great keep working at it and building on it. If not don’t fret, with some work and self love you can start developing independence and synergy. Day by day. Everyday is a fresh start to a better you. A better “us”
Remember 1+1 = infinity.